Angel's Food vs Devil's Food

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Angel's Food vs Devil's Food


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Old 04-28-2008, 19:42   #1
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Angel's Food vs. Devil's Food...

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Ranch Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

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Old 04-29-2008, 13:32   #2
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LOL Richard. That's a Good one. Ha! Bad devil.
Of course, now you've made me hungry.
Thanks a Bunch. Nice that you started this. I
guess you noticed that I'm a bit slow.


Holmes and Watson were on a camping and hiking trip.
They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky.
Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see?
"Well, I see thousands of stars."
"And what does that mean to you?"
"Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow.
What does it mean to you, Holmes?"
"To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."


Last edited by Terrie; 04-29-2008 at 13:35.
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Old 04-30-2008, 17:43   #3
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cheeseburger,,,,ohhh,,,,fries,,,,cheeeessseee burrger,mmmmmmm,,i could murder one,,,strewth,i can smell cheese burgers,right thats it,lol ,time to defrost some mince beef,diets gone for today.
i`m celebrating 4 months without insulin today,and i aint had a drink since before christmas,whats the story with diabetes and alcohol,kind folk.
I`m starting to realise why they call this phase the honneymoon period,lol,i must not slip back to old habits of pigging out on junk food,its hard work sticking to a healthy diet.
bye for now

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Old 05-01-2008, 07:01   #4
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A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day
of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and
a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to
sweep out the store."

"But I'm a college graduate." the young man replied indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give
me the broom, I'll show you how."

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Old 05-02-2008, 12:02   #5
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..........whats an HMO?
/

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Old 05-02-2008, 18:35   #6
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An HMO is a health insurance plan that is used by many people in the USA. It has many good and some bad features. See below:


Health maintenance organization - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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Old 05-02-2008, 20:08   #7
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Hello kind folk,
Here is a common phrase that i have heard from folk in priviliged positions .
"I/we believe that this substance/product poses no significant danger to the publics health".
Here is my translation,lol
"If you happen to be an insignificant member of the public,then your health is in danger".
bye for now

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Old 05-02-2008, 20:13   #8
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(Bursting out laughing).
Yup, in grave danger. LOL.

I hear Ya Curedit.

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Old 05-03-2008, 13:57   #9
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Ahhhh, a wee bit of the old Irish humor there! LOL! Thanks Curedit.

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Old 05-24-2008, 07:36   #10
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A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.'

'Go away!' Said the old lady. 'I'm broke and haven't got any money!' and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!' He said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. 'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.'


The old lady stepped back and said, 'Well let me get you a fork then, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning.'

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