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Old 01-05-2017, 23:56   #1
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: United States
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Diagnosed in 2003

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My name is Peggy & my hubby is the one with diabetes. He has no control over his numbers..he has had a A1C of over 14 for about 3 years. He eats whatever he wants but takes his insulin (sometimes). In the last year he has had a stroke, lost the sight in one eye & most of the other, had shingles & just had 2 toes removed from gangrene..I just wanna know what I should expect next...The last 2 weeks he has is numbers down to 200 but that is all. His toes are not healing very well.
I can't tell him what to eat because he gets very mad.
Thanks for any and all imput.

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Old 01-06-2017, 03:52   #2
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So very sorry, Peggy. This must be so painful for you to watch.

It sounds like the two of you have a dynamic established already where participating in what he eats doesn't end well! It's something we all know but sometimes need to remind ourselves, that the only person we can change is us. You can support him in his diabetes management but can't do it for him.

Sadly, if he has already lost toes, then his leg could well be next.

A childhood friend of mine got ulcers on the bottom of his foot that wouldn't heal, and theoretically believed in diabetes control but didn't do it. Last year he lost his leg. He's doing well, has finally a prosthetic that works, and life goes on. I don't know if that inspired him to control his diabetes (he lives on the opposite coast) but I don't ask. If he isn't controlling it, I suspect he'll be in for some more nasty surprises.

Wish I had some magic words or ideas on how to get him interested in his own health, but I don't. Other wiser souls might.

Meanwhile, welcome to the forum. We have a great recipe section that is loaded with ideas for meals/dishes that are very low carb but truly delicious.

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Dx'ed Feb 2011 w/ BS > 600
A1C: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Other Stuff
2/13/11 .. 14.7 . . . . . . Trig/HDL ratio .. 5.5 to 2.2 in 6 mo
5/23/11 .. 6.2 . . . . . . . Low-carb/high healthy-fat diet
9/8/11 .... 5.6 . . . . . . . No meds, No statin
2/24/16 .... basal/bolus insulin 2-3 days/wk due to steroids

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Old 01-06-2017, 13:54   #3
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Location: Chicago, IL
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Welcome, Peggy. I am very sorry that things have gotten so bad. It is incredibly difficult to watch and accept that unless he decides to help himself, the only help you can provide (if you chose) is support. Like moon, I don't have a magic way to force him to make that decision.

What I can say is please take care of yourself. It's easy to be consumed and burnt out by something like this and if there's anything you can do for yourself to get through it all, I hope you do so.

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Pumping insulin since 2017
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Old 01-06-2017, 14:44   #4
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Welcome to the forum Peggy. I am truly sorry for your situation with your husband. I ditto the recommendation that you take care of yourself. I hope you have a support network for yourself.

70 yrs. Dx May 2010
Diet controlled: VLC/HF
BG steady with no highs or lows.
A1C in the 5% range.
Gluten intolerant, sensitive to dairy & eggs.
Eat no grains
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Old 01-06-2017, 16:44   #5
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Hi Peggy,
I am so sorry you are going through all of this with your husband. I am a 'husband' and I kind of understand what he is doing/ thinking. He is in denial and probably has decided if it kills him, it kills him! "Damn the torpedo, full speed ahead!" I saw some of this with my Dad, but his problem was 47 he had a major heart surgery and the doctors told him quit or die....he didn't quit and yes he did die from a heart attack. I miss him dearly, but he just made a decision to walk down that road.

From that experience and from some of my past 'bull headedness' I agree with others, your focus must be to take care of yourself and other family members that may by impacted by your husbands bad choices. If he does not want to fight this disease, especially after all he has already given up, you then can do nothing for him.

To keep your sanity, focus on yourself.....

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Old 01-06-2017, 17:59   #6
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Welcome Peggy - so sorry that you are at this point with your husband.

A thought that could help - do you do the cooking for your family? Perhaps you can look at the recipe forum and make some delicious low-carb meals for both of you. Maybe if he realizes how good low-carb food can taste, he will start to become more receptive to changing his diet.

Wishing both of you all the best - make sure you take care of yourself too!

Last edited by VeeJay; 01-06-2017 at 20:16. Reason: fixed typo
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