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-   -   seeking advice from men who suffer erectile dysfunction (https://www.diabetesforum.com/diabetes-complications/2849-seeking-advice-men-who-suffer-erectile-dysfunction.html)

diabeticswife 07-04-2010 15:17

seeking advice from men who suffer erectile dysfunction
 
Hi, I am hoping some of the male diabetic sufferers will be able to help me with this issue. My husband has diabetes and for the past 2 years has had erectile dysfunction. We have not had intercourse in 18 months or so as he is unable, actually we've only had any intimate contact about 5 times in the last 18 months. I suspect he shies away from 'other' contact because this is embarassing him. He also doesn't like to talk about it with me, but I know he has mentioned it to his dr as I saw some of his medical records make mention of it. The Dr has not given him any treatments or anything though.

I was hoping to speak to other male sufferers of this condition so I can gain some insight into what it is really like for him. I have read that having ED does not mean he has no sexual interest, is this true for others?

We are a fairly young couple, with a couple of kids. We ideally wanted one more child but this does not seem to be a possibility now. I am starting to resent his condition because of this, and I know that is not good of me. How to move past this?

Lastly, on to the embarassing practical question. :o I have read about the use of rubber rings, also known as "cock rings" to help aide in erectile dysfunction. However being a female I lack knowledge of how these would actually work. Do any male ED sufferers here use these and find it helps?

Any replies would be most appreciated, either here or by PM. I apologise if I have been to 'out there' for my first post here but I honestly just need some advice and figured where else to turn but to others in the same situation.

kooshbal 07-05-2010 00:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by diabeticswife (Post 14807)
Hi, I am hoping some of the male diabetic sufferers will be able to help me with this issue. My husband has diabetes and for the past 2 years has had erectile dysfunction. We have not had intercourse in 18 months or so as he is unable, actually we've only had any intimate contact about 5 times in the last 18 months. I suspect he shies away from 'other' contact because this is embarassing him. He also doesn't like to talk about it with me, but I know he has mentioned it to his dr as I saw some of his medical records make mention of it. The Dr has not given him any treatments or anything though.

I was hoping to speak to other male sufferers of this condition so I can gain some insight into what it is really like for him. I have read that having ED does not mean he has no sexual interest, is this true for others?

We are a fairly young couple, with a couple of kids. We ideally wanted one more child but this does not seem to be a possibility now. I am starting to resent his condition because of this, and I know that is not good of me. How to move past this?

Lastly, on to the embarassing practical question. :o I have read about the use of rubber rings, also known as "cock rings" to help aide in erectile dysfunction. However being a female I lack knowledge of how these would actually work. Do any male ED sufferers here use these and find it helps?

Any replies would be most appreciated, either here or by PM. I apologise if I have been to 'out there' for my first post here but I honestly just need some advice and figured where else to turn but to others in the same situation.

Sent you a PM he's a lucky man, half the battle is over.

jamest1945 07-06-2010 23:08

Good day,

I have been a Type 1 Diabetic since April 1976 and suffered from EDS since late 1985. It happened to me almost overnight. Being a man this plays havoc with your psyche not being able to reach rigidity early on, my wife was convinced something else was going....I sought out answers and various treatments beginning in 1986. I wore penile rings to ensure I definitely had EDS, if the rings were broken in the morning I had an erection during the night. Nightly erections are quite common for all men. These tests were done to ensure my condition was not psychological. One Urologist had me trying injections into my Penis. This meant that when my wife and I wanted to be initimate, I had to inject this drug directly into the penile wall and wait. I waited a long time it did not work. He had me try other drugs, nothing worked.

Finally, in 1992 (7 years after first experiencing EDS)I went to a new Urologist who after studying my file and failed attempts. Suggested a penile implant. This may sound radical, but if you have not had intercourse in seven years this becomes the only option. I did it in April 1992, it was not comfortable or without pain and after the surgery I had an erection for 14 days! This was done to ensure no leaked and the pump was working as intended.

That original pump worked perfectly for 13 years, then leaked and I had a new one installed in 2005 no problems since. The second one was easier than the first. As my wife knows, I can rise anytime and for any length of time that is required. Without fail. I get aroused like any other man we all react the same to the excitement of impending sex with or without an implant.

Now I am not suggesting he go the implant route. But he has to seek out an Urologist and determine his exact problem. Right now his ego is in the way. Talk to him and tell him that both of you are going to see anUrologist. He feels less than whole but doing nothing about it makes it worse.

Regards
James

nightwolf67 11-18-2010 22:31

Hi, sorry to hear about your husband's misfortune. There is a variety of treatments available for erectile dysfunction. Some have bad side-effects while others are completely safe. For this reason I would suggest starting with the safe treatments first and then escalate to the more serious treatments only if absolutely necessary.

You asked about the cock ring. This is a ring he would put over the base of his penis. The cock ring works by blocking blood flow from the penis so that blood can only flow in and not out. Since erections are dependent on blood flow, the cock ring can help.

The cock ring is good, but for erectile dysfunction it doesn't always do the trick as some ED sufferers don't have any significant blood flow to the penis to begin with. The penis pump is a better solution since it acts just like a cock ring, but also forces blood into the penis via suction. These devices, along with cock rings, can be dangerous if worn for longer than 15 minutes.

From personal experience I can recommend 10 minutes with the penis pump daily (in the morning) and another 10 minutes as needed before intercourse. Not getting regular erections is part of the problem. It's a viscous cycle really. You can't get an erection because of insufficient blood flow, and you can't get good blood flow because of lack of erections.

I think this will help as your husbands problem sounds physical and not psychological. You should seek a Urologist to further discuss this issue before starting treatment.

AphoticAmy 10-14-2011 22:11

My hubby the diabetic
 
I'm getting married in less than a month to a wonderful young man who is in all ways perfect for me--we are best friends, rarely disagree, enjoy doing things together and don't wig out if we do things apart--there is only one very small problem--ED. He's young, so it's not a HUGE problem yet--but it is something that's bothered him for years--he's had problems maintaining an erection (doesn't really have a problem GETTING one--not yet, he's 34 and was diagnosed Type I late @ 20 when it nearly killed him). I am a bookworm, and quite a bit of an autodidact. As soon as I fell for him, I researched Type 1 Diabetes thoroughly so I just...knew more about it. I know that having um...less "firm" erections can be part of diabetes...I don't really want to ask him to go get on erection pills. Some of it seems to be nerves, he really wants to make sure I'm "getting mine" and all--but I really would like him to relax a little bit, all the same, at times it's a struggle and I am going through the motions, not feeling a whole lot, when there WAS something going on AT FIRST! :(
Seeing the post above and all, and not knowing anything about them myself...what are the feelings on "penis rings" and could this be a way to sort of trap the blood there, would this be uncomfortable for him? I've sorta mentioned it before...he's not very comfortable with going the viagra-route, which I agree with. I'd rather try something a little more natural, less chemical. :target:

Anyway, any and all help/advice is mucho appreciated. I'm new to this--and of course he certainly is. He's worth it! I'll try anything, I just adore him to pieces.

MsTCB 10-15-2011 04:37

Your hubby needs to have his Testosterone levels checked. Even though you stated that he is "young," he still might be deficient in Testosterone. This can be easily fixed by supplementation with Testosterone.

AphoticAmy 10-15-2011 22:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by MsTCB (Post 58686)
Your hubby needs to have his Testosterone levels checked. Even though you stated that he is "young," he still might be deficient in Testosterone. This can be easily fixed by supplementation with Testosterone.

Thank YOU! I totally agree with this...and have mentioned it to him. Seriously, getting him to go to the doctor/dentist/whatever is like pulling teeth. However, he knows I am relentless out of love.:eek:

Shanny 10-16-2011 02:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by AphoticAmy (Post 58792)
Thank YOU! I totally agree with this...and have mentioned it to him. Seriously, getting him to go to the doctor/dentist/whatever is like pulling teeth.

Isn't that just like a man?! ;) (apologies, guys, I know you fellas all take good care of yourselves, but every other man I ever met is gun-shy about docs! :D)

I hope he'll begin to understand another truth, which is I suspect, that it isn't just his plumbing which attracts you - although it's very nice - but it's the whole sweet man who's won your heart/adoration. Help him relax about performance - the emotional is at least as important as the physical.




beefy 10-16-2011 02:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by AphoticAmy (Post 58792)
Thank YOU! I totally agree with this...and have mentioned it to him. Seriously, getting him to go to the doctor/dentist/whatever is like pulling teeth. However, he knows I am relentless out of love.:eek:

Also, if he's following a "low-fat" diet (as many doctors, dietitians, nutritionists, etc., recommend) that's a no-no for both diabetes AND for testosterone levels.

In fact, men will NOT produce normal levels of testosterone without a minimum of 20% (or so) of their calories from fat. Some need more fat to produce healthy levels. When I'm adding muscle, I need a minimum of 40% of my calories from fat, or it just doesn't happen... I also supplement with zinc and find that helps me.

AphoticAmy 10-17-2011 16:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by beefy (Post 58804)
Also, if he's following a "low-fat" diet (as many doctors, dietitians, nutritionists, etc., recommend) that's a no-no for both diabetes AND for testosterone levels.

In fact, men will NOT produce normal levels of testosterone without a minimum of 20% (or so) of their calories from fat. Some need more fat to produce healthy levels. When I'm adding muscle, I need a minimum of 40% of my calories from fat, or it just doesn't happen... I also supplement with zinc and find that helps me.

He eats plenty of fat. Honestly, he eats like a teenager. I wonder when his metabolism will catch up with him. :eek: I give him vitamins on the daily, which he dutifully takes--he does smoke, which I've managed to get him to cut back on a lot. I swear there's something with his hormones, something going on. We will figure it out, I just don't want to nag, but it's important to me, and I know it's important to him, but he wants to sorta do the avoidance thing...

And yes, plumbing is nice, and I love the sexual part of a relationship, but that is not everything and the be-all-to-end-all. I love who he IS, not what he does.


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