help ... diabetes is killing my wife

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help ... diabetes is killing my wife


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Old 02-01-2014, 05:53   #1
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Unhappy help ... diabetes is killing my wife

My wife has type 2 for 10-20 years. She refuses to eat a diabetic diet, or even a halfway one. And she refuses to take insulin because she still is pained from a stillborn son 10 years ago that occurred because of her heavy diabetic meds at the time. She does take oral meds, but they aren't doing the trick. Her A1C is 9.7.

Her feet are already numb and now she's experiencing severe chronic pain in both arms. I believe her arms will go numb after some weeks/months of this pain. What can I do? My wife is just 43 and we have 2 seven-year-olds. My wife is fatalistic. How can I get her to care and push back her diabetes? She refuses to go to counseling too. I am in such a terrible situation, watching my wife and the mother of my kids willing to suffer so and place such a burden on all of us. She's willing to die from this and let her family suffer. It's hurting my kids emotionally. I don't know what to do. Please help me with some advice. Thank you in advance.

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Old 02-01-2014, 05:57   #2
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The "diabetic diet" may not be as diabetic friendly as you think. In fact the actual diabetic diet may turn out to be more to her & your liking.
For starters check out bloodsugar101 and read this forum as much as you can. Hang on, things will be just fine. All it takes is about 2-3 months for improvements to show up.

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Old 02-01-2014, 06:05   #3
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Is she being treated for depression? Because it sounds like she is deeply depressed.




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Old 02-01-2014, 06:31   #4
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I agree with Shanny's assessment.

She may need grief therapy and treatment for depression, before she can do any work on glucose control. It seems her grief may still be fresh, even after 10 years; this is not uncommon. Depression is a real physical condition (which may have contributed to her prolonged grief). If she is depressed, both medical treatment and counseling is most likely required.

Normal glucose can also help lift depression and brain fog (if any) ... but first she must be motivated to work on healing. Good diabetes control requires self-management. With good glucose control, her other complications may also improve, or even disappear.

I am very glad you found us, and deeply sorry that you had to. Please keep us posted!

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Old 02-01-2014, 06:48   #5
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I agree with the above posts but would add - do the children have access to a counsellor at school or perhaps your local health centre? You say that the kids are being hurt emotionally and I can well understand that if their mother is so ill and depressed. It is important that their emotional well being is catered to as it can have profound consequences for their development.

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Old 02-01-2014, 15:48   #6
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Well there are two ways here.

1.) You can be the understanding Husband.

Understand that she is deeply depressed. Encourage her to seek psychological help and offer to take her. Remind her that you two have two kiddos that need the BOTH of you and if she doesn't wake up before it is too late she is going to leave you alone to raise them by yourself and how that would affect you personally.

OR

2.) You can be the Stern and Assertive Husband

You can tell her that she is going to wake up, that she is going to start treating herself right, that you are going to control the diet and the flow of food in the house, that she is going to eat how you say she is going to eat because it is for the best, and she is going to get counseling from a psychiatrist. You won't just encourage this, it WILL happen.

Sometimes when you care about someone who is deeply depressed like she is, you have to force the issue. When my ex wife was like this, I told her to wake up and take care of herself or I was taking my child and leaving her to sort it out because I wasn't having that affect our child. This was after I tried being the understanding husband. I wished I had been more stern with her from the beginning because it was only then once she realized what she stood to lose that she sought help.

And just so you know...I don't believe for one second that diabetes and the associative meds had ANYTHING to do with that pregnancy ending. I have never seen any rated side effects that cause still birth. I could be wrong. But I don't think I am. That would mean that every diabetic mother out there would have still births and the danger would probably pull the meds off the market once the FDA found out.

So whoever blamed the diabetes, if they are a medical professional, is probably not giving you accurate information.

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Old 02-01-2014, 16:00   #7
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Actually Justin, diabetes is a very high risk factor in pregnancy, relative to stillbirth and many other outcomes.

Quote:
In early pregnancy, a mother's diabetes can result in birth defects and an increased rate of miscarriage. Many of the birth defects that occur affect major organs such as the brain and heart.During the second and third trimester, a mother's diabetes can lead to over-nutrition and excess growth of the baby. Having a large baby increases risks during labor and delivery. For example, large babies often require planned or emergency caesarean deliveries, and if he or she is delivered vaginally, they are at increased risk for complications such as trauma to the baby.
In addition, when high blood sugar from the mother causes high insulin levels (hyperinsulinemia) in the baby, the baby's blood sugar can drop very low after birth, because it won't be receiving the high blood sugar.
Source




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Last edited by Shanny; 02-01-2014 at 16:05.
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Old 02-01-2014, 18:08   #8
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Relative to out of control yes but the medications that keep it in control no. I haven't seen it. Could you link insulin or pill meds for glycemic control to the pregnancy issues?

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Old 02-01-2014, 19:23   #9
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Are you suggesting that 'Mrs Genesis' was not out of control? I suspect she was. And no, I won't be researching this for you any further than I already have. Traditionally docs put gestational diabetics on insulin because oral meds are not healthy for the fetus.




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Old 02-01-2014, 19:39   #10
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Hey in not trying to be disrespectful I'm just saying this is the first time I've come across it. Thanks for the previous info it helps me understand this disease better. Not only that I'm on the road to the doctor in okc so I was just trying to get some more info that's all...

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