An Ode a Lantus pen
Well, not really an ode because I just can't be bothered with all that rhyming stuff but it sounds impressive doesn't it?
Lantus, when we first met I really didn't like you. Not one bit. Not a whit. (OMG I can rhyme after all but sound like Dr Seuss) You sat there on my kitchen bench because, apparently you MUST NOT be kept in the bathroom, and menaced me so I put you in the cupboard with your friends the 5mm micro fine needles who liked to make me bleed.
Every time I opened the cupboard you leered at me, menacingly and your little sharp friends laughed at me. Not with me, definitely at me. Then when I opened the fridge your buddies the spare pens in their neat boxes could be heard baiting me.
I don't know how much insulin my Doc thought I may need to tame the DP beast but I seem to have enough to last nearly a year with my 11 units a day regime. Actually on closer examination and upon realising that 11 units is my number I realise that they will last way more than a year. Expiry date Aug 2014. Lucky that isn't it? They sat there in the bottom of the fridge door looking suspiciously permanent so I hid them behind the sauce bottles. "May as well since I won't be needing to use the sauce with the new lchf regime" I told them morosely. Of course they fell over the first time my grandson got out the tomato and good ole BBQ sauce so that plan was short lived and I got by with just swearing at them under my breath which was strangely satisfying.
I did not like the hypos I started to get now and again and began buying glucose tablets to keep with me and they would wave happily at me from the cupboard next to the pens. Very friendly and caring they were. Now there's a question. Were they real hypos or just false ones masquerading as the real thing??? (cue X files music). Turned out to be a bit of both really because when I cut the carbs right back they slowed down and stopped which caused the packets of Glucodin (unopened) to sulk in a most unattractive manner. I stuck my tongue out at them and with my thumbs in my ears waggled my fingers at them. Then there was the whole mooning them incident which is probably best left unmentioned.
FBS 5.5 ish. Almost never over 7.9 after meals now. Sleeping so well, no midnight peeing, waking up in a good mood. Now that's weird. Switched to 4mm needles which like me much more than their big brothers and never, well almost never, make me bleed. The pen in the cupboard has started to behave much better and is not threatening me. His friends in the fridge have pretty much shut up too. A couple came on holiday with me and behaved impeccably I must say. Turns out,as the now most esteemed, but formerly disliked Dr. Bernstein told me, that they keep out of the fridge longer than the makers instructions would have us believe making for a much easier relationship. Hmmmm!
Well if I am honest I have to admit that the pens don't look so bad now. In fact they are quite good looking. Tall and slim. A nice shade of silver birch grey really with a neat little clicky dial thing. The green 4mm needles are actually, compared to their purple brothers, very likable too. No jeering or anything like that can be heard from their box. They are surprisingly cute really and when I put the 2 together all I can say is WOW.
In the spirit of a cheesey Mills and Boon romance or an equally cheesy episode of the B&theB the villain of the piece has turned out to be a hero and love has blossomed... ;):rockon:
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