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How do you cope? - Page 4


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Old 12-01-2012, 13:52   #31
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((((tish))))




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Old 12-02-2012, 23:06   #32
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Hi again rudeboysti. It's sunday evening in my part of the world and just wanted to ask you how the weekend went before I hit the sack. I hope you had a nice one spent with your family.
Hang in there!

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Old 12-03-2012, 19:36   #33
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Well, I must say I had a wonderful weekend. It was truly amazing as far as my screwed up head goes. My wife's uncle is a priest. He has a church in Prescott Arizona which is a small mountain town up north. He is also a diabetic and a retired police chief who is also FBI trained at Quantico. My wife thought it would be a good idea for me to go spend some time with him and his wife, who is also an amazing chef. And I seriously mean amazing. She used to work for the Cardinals football team running their catering department. I have always liked her uncle Mark. He is the softest, friendliest and most personable person I have ever met. I am not a religious person but if there was anyone who could sway me it would be him.

Anyway, I drove up to Prescott Friday night and spent Friday and Saturday with him. We spent two days just talking about life and hardships. We discussed the terrible things we have both seen and how we try and deal with it. He has seen some horrific things in his life as well coming from a previous life in law enforcement. We discussed our diabetes and health issues in general. We discussed parenthood, he has a son and daughter. His son used to be married to comedian Kathy Griffin and his daughter is a producer of a couple of TV shows. I don't recall which ones. I do know she was involved in that old show West Wing. We discussed how he had to overcome his issues with his daughter announcing that she was not interested in men. It was hard for him but he had to come to terms with it. We just talked for hours and hours. He doesn't own a TV so there was nothing to do but talk and it was amazing.

He is also is a fellow gun nut being that he comes from a long life of law enforcement. Saturday we took out some of his pistols and a couple of rifles and did some shooting. It was so unbelievably peaceful up there. It was so quiet and the air was so clean. I forgot how much I loved getting away from the city. We went for a hike and did more talking.

I must say that when I left Sunday, I really felt at peace. I have never spent time with them without my wife and I was apprehensive at first but I knew I needed help. It was hard making the trip up there on my own and there were many times I wanted to turn around and go home. I felt embarrassed because my wife had told him that I needed his help. I wondered how I could face him at the family holidays and what not but I am so glad I did. It was the best counseling session I have ever had. It truly was amazing and I feel I have made a breakthrough in my mental stability. He really put me at ease. I hope it holds but if not, I have an open invitation to come back up and spend time with him again if needed. His wife actually travels quite a bit and has a home in Atlanta so he welcomes the company. I will definitely take him up on the return visit whether it is needed or not and I look forward to our annual Christmas time trip up there with my wife's family. My spirits have been elevated for the time being. I have come to terms with my health for the time being as well. I know that I am not completely out of the woods with my depression but I feel like I am heading in the right direction now. I do not have that feeling of swirling down a toilet bowl that I have had but the important part is to keep it that way.

You all were right. I needed to turn to my family for help and they came through. I never should have tried to take this all on by myself. I have such a wonderful network of support that I just couldn't see through the darkness. The struggle will continue but I feel better equipped to deal with it right now with all of you and my family. It will get better. I could be worse and I have dealt with worse. I can and will get through this. The road may not always be smooth but I will take it as it comes.

Thanks again for all the support and thank you for pushing me in the right direction.

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Old 12-03-2012, 20:00   #34
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Now that's more like it David!!!

I am so glad that you followed a path that led you to better thoughts and has strengthened the survivor in you. Sometimes we do need a break from our routine in life, and I believe this was the right break for you (obviously). Regardless if your wife's Uncle is a priest or not, he was obviously the exact person you needed to spend time with and be able to talk openly and honestly with to clear your mind and soul of what troubles you. You took in some clean fresh air, you renewed your spirit and soul, and now you are finally ready to tackle what lies ahead for you. Kind of like the race cars that you so love; even they need to be cleansed and refueled before getting back in the race and having a fighting chance at winning.

I know that all the prayers that have been sent your way have probably helped. I'm sure that fate or kizmet or whatever you want to call it (I call it faith) put you in the right place at the right time with the right person. God Bless your wife for suggesting this and reaching out to her Uncle to help in a time of crisis.

Stay the course David. We are always and forever here for you bud. Don't ever give up! Life can throw us all the lemons it wants; we will just make lemonade, sugar free of course!

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Old 12-03-2012, 20:23   #35
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Oh, David you have made my day! I'm so glad a way to see the sunlight became your way! Just take one more day at a time and stay centered chatting with us. My God was/is with you...oh, I'm so happy to hear from you.

Thank you for posting this to all of us.




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Old 12-03-2012, 20:47   #36
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Thank you naynay for all the support and prayers. You are absolutely right. I was running on emotional fumes. This was my pit stop. And I have a great pit crew. I fully expect there will be more bumps but I know I have support and don't need to try and do it all by myself. I have a wonderful family who supports me, an employer who has given me tremendous support and a support group(you guys) who won't let me fail. I am also still continuing with my counselor and we are actually going to start meeting more often until I get through this.

I apologize for all the drama I threw out here and I am still embarrassed but I am glad I did it. It led me to get the help I needed. I know I would have held it in until it really became a problem as that is my M.O.

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Old 12-03-2012, 20:52   #37
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I am so very glad to hear that!

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Old 12-03-2012, 22:19   #38
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((((David))))
I am so glad to hear about your amazing weekend that brought you back to your family and friends. Your wife is a wise woman. I am thankful that her uncle would open his heart and his life to you on this most crucial weekend.
Take care
Deb

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Old 12-03-2012, 22:35   #39
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David, so glad to hear about your weekend. Glad you were able to connect with your wife's uncle and get some peace. I will continue to keep you in my prayers and thoughts.

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Old 12-03-2012, 22:53   #40
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I forgot to mention the main reason my wife wanted me to speak with her uncle. He is a cancer survivor. He wrote a book called A Cross Called Cancer. He was perfectly suited to me and my issues. Below is an excerpt about him from the back of his book. You will see why he was such a help for me.

Overview
The Rev. Mark Moline is the Rector of St. Luke's Episcopal Church in Prescott, Arizona. Prior to his current pastorate he served as Vicar of the Episcopal Church of the Holy Comforter in Atlanta, Georgia. "Holy Comforter' is a unique inner-city mission that seeks to serve those subsisting at or below poverty income and suffering from a significant mental illness diagnosis. More than 60% of Father Mark's parishioners experienced mental illness or organic brain damage.
No stranger to ministering to the marginalized parishioner, The Rev. Moline was assigned as the Chaplain for the Atlanta City Detention Center upon his ordination to the Episcopal Priesthood in 2000. Prior to ordination, he had served as a licensed chaplain for that same inner city adult jail, and also the San Benito County Jail in Hollister, California.
Father Mark retired from a twenty-six-year law enforcement career in 1994 which culminated in an eight-year term as Chief of Police of the Council Bluffs, Iowa Police Department. He started his seminary studies immediately upon retirement from law enforcement. He received his Master of Divinity degree from Emory University in Atlanta, his Bachelor of Science degree in Justice Administration from the American University in Washington, D.C., and is a graduate of the F.B.I. National Academy in Quantico, Virginia.


You are right. My wife is a wise woman.

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