Can't Do This Anymore

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Can't Do This Anymore


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Old 05-20-2011, 21:18   #1
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Default Can't Do This Anymore

I dont even know what to say right now. This pain is unbearable. It has taken over everything of me-body and mind. My anti depressants don't work, actually make it worse and this emotional/verbal/psychological abuse from my husband is destroying me. He is only nice when he wants to be or when he needs something. But I love him and that's why it's so hard. He wasn't like that 8 months ago.

Plus there is no1 i know in this city, and the symptoms of hyperglycemia and extreme exhaustion 24/7 make it even harder on me. I just want out. I don't know what to do. I try to sleep more than 8hrs so I can not feel the pain and most of the time my mind is "on the other side" and it's scary. It hurts. I know you all have your own problems so I don't expect help or replies. I just needed to let it out and write.

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Old 05-20-2011, 21:50   #2
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What about calling a woman's shelter and asking for a hotline to call and talk to someone nearby for help. Or, a nat'l hotline for help? You need more support than we can give you for the depression and abuse issues.

I hope it gets better soon!




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Old 05-20-2011, 22:04   #3
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Rocky?

... what Patdart said!

Sounds to me like you need a break from your situation. A change of environment can be the greatest healer.

We can ... and will continue to ... provide moral support. But sometimes a real change in the outer world is absolutely key to self-change.

We're all rooting for you!

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Old 05-20-2011, 22:11   #4
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Rocky, why are you having so much high blood sugar? You may need insulin to have normal blood sugar levels. You are slim, and you have high blood sugar, so it sounds like you are type 1. A type 1 must use insulin!!! I hope an endocrinologist will examine you and give the tests to determine your type. If you are type 1 and you start taking insulin, you will feel so much better once you are adjusted.

Richard

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Old 05-20-2011, 22:11   #5
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i already moved to a new place bcuz im stationed here and my husband came too. i cant just move...and i dont need a womens shelter because he was never physical so it's not like im scared of him... its just his coldness and how he talks and what he says... sigh. but maybe it's my fault so i shouldnt be complaining.

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Old 05-20-2011, 22:13   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Richard157 View Post
Rocky, why are you having so much high blood sugar? You may need insulin to have normal blood sugar levels. You are slim, and you have high blood sugar, so it sounds like you are type 1. A type 1 must use insulin!!! I hope an endocrinologist will examine you and give the tests to determine your type. If you are type 1 and you start taking insulin, you will feel so much better once you are adjusted.

Richard

I don't know richard i always wake up with high bgl... of at least 120 or more. i do eat right, nothing to out of the ordinary. and the doctor only knows that my body is insulin resistant and doesn't distribute it or doesnt know what to do with it and the cells dont get it and then i have high sugar levels.

My next endocrinologist appt is June 13. I hope she will give me a diagnosis.

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0.5mg Clonazepam (Klonopin)
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Fasting GL: 127
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Old 05-20-2011, 22:39   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RockyXX View Post
i already moved to a new place bcuz im stationed here and my husband came too. i cant just move...and i dont need a womens shelter because he was never physical so it's not like im scared of him... its just his coldness and how he talks and what he says... sigh. but maybe it's my fault so i shouldnt be complaining.
I'm sorry I wasn't clear in what I meant, Rocky. I meant to find someone for you to talk to and maybe a place to go to get a short break and as I'm sure you know from what you say, abuse can change fast with no warning. I only want you to be safe so you can deal with your emotions and I thought maybe you could make a friend to whom to share your burden until you are in a better place in your head.




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Old 05-20-2011, 22:41   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RockyXX View Post
I dont even know what to say right now. This pain is unbearable. It has taken over everything of me-body and mind. My anti depressants don't work, actually make it worse and this emotional/verbal/psychological abuse from my husband is destroying me. He is only nice when he wants to be or when he needs something. But I love him and that's why it's so hard. He wasn't like that 8 months ago.

Plus there is no1 i know in this city, and the symptoms of hyperglycemia and extreme exhaustion 24/7 make it even harder on me. I just want out. I don't know what to do. I try to sleep more than 8hrs so I can not feel the pain and most of the time my mind is "on the other side" and it's scary. It hurts. I know you all have your own problems so I don't expect help or replies. I just needed to let it out and write.
I don't know alot but i do know when the pain gets unbearable you don't give in. We all do have our own problems but what helps me the most is trying to share that which will help others, so by you sharing your problems you help all of us out by letting us share to help you, that way we don't have to think about ourselves, our diabetes, or other problems. The best theraphy for depression is to get out of yourself and go help someone and stop thinking about how you feel, at least thats the way is for me when i'm depressed.

One more thing maybe your husband is emotionally abusive or cold but your happiness doesn't have to depend on how he is treating you. My happiness isn't based on how will my wife treats me, it's based on what i put into our marrage regardless if she rejects or not.In my opinion, you need to sit down and talk it out with someone instead of holding it in because stress will drive up blood sugars also.
Good luck, you are in my prayers. Mikey

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Old 05-20-2011, 22:46   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RockyXX View Post
i already moved to a new place bcuz im stationed here and my husband came too. i cant just move...and i dont need a womens shelter because he was never physical so it's not like im scared of him... its just his coldness and how he talks and what he says... sigh. but maybe it's my fault so i shouldnt be complaining.
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

Don't ever believe that it's your fault! That is exactly what his taunts are meant to do - isolate you & make you think you brought it all on yourself. And above all do not let him persuade you that having a baby will fix everything.

I take it your husband is not military. Otherwise I'd have asked if he'd been out-of-country until eight months ago. What the heck happened eight months ago that changed his behavior?

Richard is right - I have suspicions that you might be type 1 or 1.5 too. Please follow up on this.




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Old 05-20-2011, 23:36   #10
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Quote:
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IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

Don't ever believe that it's your fault! That is exactly what his taunts are meant to do - isolate you & make you think you brought it all on yourself. And above all do not let him persuade you that having a baby will fix everything.

I take it your husband is not military. Otherwise I'd have asked if he'd been out-of-country until eight months ago. What the heck happened eight months ago that changed his behavior?

Richard is right - I have suspicions that you might be type 1 or 1.5 too. Please follow up on this.
Hello Again!

What Shanny said!

To reiterate her main point (and the others were just as good): NOT YOUR FAULT!

Abuse is abuse is abuse. Yeah, emotional abuse is not as actionable as physical stuff. BUT ... in my Never-Humble Opinion (and that of many experts), the crazymaking aspect of verbal/emotional abuse can cause much more damage.

If a women's shelter won't do, is there a co-worker or other pal you can visit for a time? Sometimes, even in everyday, non-abusive situations, we Just Need A Break.

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DX'd April Fool's Day, 2011 - T2
Female, 58, 5'7", 150 lbs.
A1C 13.5 -> 6.7 ->5.4 (1/31/14)
MEDS:
Humulin-N (basal) - Humalog (rapid bolus)
MAGIC POTIONS:
Biotin --10,000mcg (for hair health)
B-complex
One-A-Day Women's 50+ Advantage
KyoDophilus (pro-biotic)
LIFE SUPPORT:
Black Coffee - Unsweetened Iced Tea
Low-Carb, High-Fat Convert
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