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Old 05-20-2013, 13:43   #1
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I'm really driving my family crazy with this diabetes. They are tired of hearing about blood sugar and food. I feel so alone in this disease sometimes. At first, they were really supportive, and they still are, but they're just tired of it. When won't it be all I think about? It consumes me most of the day--what I'm going to eat, what are the macros, which foods can I eat together, how much time do I wait between meals, when do I stop eating, did I set the timer to check my blood sugar, when do I really experience the bg height, is my blood sugar high enough to exercise, is it too low to exercise, should I eat before I exercise, should I eat during exercise, should I eat after exercise, do I have the right snacks in my purse, how do I adjust this next planned meal if my BGs are too too high, how do I adjust this planned meal when my BGs are too low, are my BGs stable enough to eat berries and yogurt, did I have too many calories today, did I have too few calories today, ETC. ETC. ETC. And let's not even talk about medication and supplements.

When will I be able to live like a normal person again? Have normal conversations? Be consumed with life instead of staving off neuropathies? Does it get any better?? When?? When are my children going to get their calm and rarely frazzled mother back? When is my family going to get their happy, laughing, loving, and energetic mother back? What happened to grace under pressure? How could I have done this to myself and to my family? Did I have to get diabetes? Why am I so easily angered?? That's a biggy because one of the truest aspects of my personality is that I was never easily angered or easily offended. And now? Who is this person??!?!

I just don't recognize myself anymore. When will I stop being so obsessed? When will this become second nature. When will I be able to stop thinking about it, talking about it All the time? How long does it really take? And how do I manage until then without alienating the people I love, and alienating myself from who I used to be.

Has anyone ever even remotely gone through this?

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Old 05-20-2013, 13:52   #2
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Bree,

Diabetes isn't a joke - as you've noticed. To control it you have to take it seriously as you have been doing. But please, don't think in terms of "it's my own fault" - because it isn't! Have a look at this You Did NOT Eat Your Way to Diabetes. The REAL Causes.

Yes, initially you might be a little obsessive about it but a couple of years down the track as you see the improvements that your initial self discipline has achieved, you will feel much readier to relax and enjoy your life again.

Your family is going to get their happy, laughing, loving, and energetic mother back - and by all your hard work - and it is hard work - is going to keep her for quite a few years longer than if you don't keep on top of this condition.

Stick with it.

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Old 05-20-2013, 14:33   #3
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I feel your pain.
I finally have started looking at other things in life. I'm still more stressed, still much more easily angered and frazzled, but much improved!
I still talk about it a lot. Its the main thing I talk about with my husband, and prob will be for a long time.
I will keep improving a bit at a time, and so will you.
We took a lot of weekends off. Going on afternoons out, daytrips, weekends away, being out in nature with my family. In one way it made the week more hectic. But at the same time the times away kept my mind off things and allowed me to enjoy my family rather than sitting and reading yet another book on diabetes. I think that really helped me.

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Old 05-20-2013, 14:46   #4
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I was obsessed at first, and did talk a lot about it. But about a year into this when I really knew what my diet was, what I could expect my BG to be when I ate certain foods... well, the obsession eased up and I was able to get out from under the load of living diabetes rather than living life. I was able to stop testing so much (which does keep ones focus on BG levels) and broaden my attention to other things.

You have more ups and downs than I have had. So my experience will be different from yours. But it helps to remember that this is a journey, and not a sprint. One year of obsession vs 20 years of living puts it in perspective. And it might help your family to understand that you are not in any way different from other newly diagnosed diatetics, and that eventually you'll stop being obsessed and your conversation will not be taken over by diabetes issues.

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Old 05-20-2013, 16:15   #5
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I know what you mean! It is still one of the main conversation points between me and my husband, but my SIL never wants to hear about it again! I married into an Italian family and every family gathering is a challenge for me! I started to make Optomist Crackers (in the recipe section). That's helped a lot. And coming to realize that every sandwich, every pasta, every--thing becomes a salad for me! I always have almonds to munch on in a little plastic container in my purse. I always have water to drink. I occasionally have a glass of wine. My dessert everyday is a square of 82% chocolate---eaten slooowly. And it's tea with cream -- cream that I carry in a small plast container. We're with you-- and you're with us-- so don't despair! I come here everyday to get my pep talks!

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Old 05-20-2013, 16:55   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bree View Post
Has anyone ever even remotely gone through this?
YES! All those things on your list, and add talking/ranting about pharmaceuticals, CDEs, docs, research, statins - the tentacles were broad and deep. I was aware at the time that I had become a one-note pony and tried hard to rein myself in. But I was learning so much, upending life-long presumptions, and could.not.shut.up.

It does ease up, stop even. Finally, I bored myself and am (mostly) over it. The reward of all that though is that I feel very solid about things. I know what I can eat, how to handle restaurants, what to cook, and not making exceptions means I test now rather infrequently. I do spot check here and there to make sure nothing odd has happened - so far it's steady as she goes.

Time with this will unshackle you. Promise.

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Old 05-20-2013, 17:36   #7
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Quote:
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Has anyone ever even remotely gone through this?
Yes, me! I just complained this morning on another thread. I am soooo tired of it.

I so want a favourite muffin I cant have and baking it myself wont be the same. I want to eat out without having to study the menu or study each label in the supermarket. Im soooo tired of it all.

You are not alone

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Old 05-20-2013, 17:39   #8
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Bree - I know exactly what you're going through. I was diagnosed about three months ago, and until about two weeks ago was obsessed with everything diabetes - just about everything you mentioned I was obsessing about too.

My husband is very supportive. When I've needed to talk he has been there for me. But a couple of weeks ago, I noticed that his eyes would sort of start to glaze over (lol) when I started talking about the diabetes again. It was at that point that I realized that the journey is mine to make, but my family is there to help me when there are stumbling blocks. They just can't make the journey for me. So I stopped talking about it so much, and just kept doing what I was doing to get this disease under control. My husband will still occasionally ask me "What were your numbers today?" so I know that he cares and thinks about it. I just don't overwhelm him with it anymore. I mean, there's nothing he can do when it comes right down to it, only I can control this disease. And not talking/obsessing so much about it has helped me to just start living again. I just do what I need to do about the diabetes.

You did the right thing by sharing your frustration on this forum. That's why it's here. Wonderful people here have helped me make it through some rough spots several times. I come here to read and learn and to even sometimes share and try to help also. How long will it take you to stop obsessing? Only you will know when you reach that point. But it will happen. So continue to use this forum as a sounding block when you need it. Someone will always be there for you.

Wishing you the best. Hang in there.

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Old 05-20-2013, 17:47   #9
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Talk on this forum. You cant expect people to understand who dont go through it. If you were in their shoes, there is a probability that you too would not have been able to understand the gravity of the situation. I too was very obsessive about my numbers and have just recently let go of the obsessiveness. I would want to be around my meter 2 hours after my meal. I have made a conscious effort to stick to LCHF but reduce my obsessiveness of testing.

I would say that ask help from your family members to deal with Dx. But also ask for help to not let it rule your life. Its easy to get obsessed to the extent that you dont see a life beyond Dx. Dx is always going to be a part of your life. But dont let it rule your life.

One way to reduce obsessiveness is to follow the diet religiously, see consistent numbers, know what works for you and make it such an integral part of your life that it does not feel like a chore anymore.

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Old 05-20-2013, 17:57   #10
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ANd whenever i question myself that why i had to get Dx and why cant i lead a normal life, i remind myself that i am lucky enough to have a disorder that can be controlled. We see so many young people out there who are dealing with diseases that just spiral down and there is nothing they can do about it. So when you go down the self pity lane (which is very easy when you see all the carby food you love), just remind yourself that you are luckier than a lot of guys out there who would not think twice about giving up carbs just to be healthy again. Diabetes does not kill you. Uncontrolled diabetes is what kills you. Fortunately, we all know that it can be controlled.

Take a deep breathe! Look at your beautiful kids and give them their lovely mother back. Its easy once you get on track again. Good luck!

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