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itissteve 05-04-2019 00:03

Support from those we know
From the "The insanity of it all" thread:

Originally Posted by xring (Post 1319089)
When my weight reached over 400 lbs & I was determined to do something about it, [my ex] constantly encourage me to eat Rocky Road & pizza. Discussing it with her did no good. The last straw was on Valentine's day when she handed me a heart-shaped box of chocolates. After losing her, I lost 225 lbs.


Originally Posted by kyteflyer (Post 1319085)
Instead of offering the remaining scones to the others there, [my friend] always wants to press them onto me. Iíve never accepted, within the 12 months we have been doing this, but still she persists. This is not ignorance. She knows perfectly well what low carb is, and she knows that I battle my desire for carbs every day...

My thoughts on this led me to think this is a topic unto itself -- the impact of those around us on our efforts to manage our diabetes.

Whether it's partners, family members, friends, co-workers,... They can make or break our efforts at controlling our blood glucose -- or can they? How have those around you supported you in your journey to diabetes management? Or, if those around you did not help, what did/do you change in the relationship that helps you reach your goals despite the impediments?

kyteflyer 05-04-2019 00:55

I have no proper supports as such. I'm 69, I live alone (never had kids so no family to speak of, just a few cousins far away) and I rely on friends for social interaction. Then again, I am a hermit and havent really encouraged close relationships. So for me, its very much a DIY situation. Which is why I realised I need this forum. It helps me stay on track where my carb-loving friends do not.

xring 05-04-2019 16:43

You would think family & friends would be supportive. I've learned that's not always the case. I have friends who are supportive. But not always so with family.

My sister (also diabetic) has always been jealous of me. She tries her best to hide it but it comes out. She is 100 lbs. overweight & she was much more supportive when I was also overweight. Since she doesn't have much self discipline when it comes to food & she never exercises, she'd like to think there isn't anything that can be done about it. When I lost weight, that proved her wrong & it made her angry because every time she looks at me, she is reminded of what she can't accomplish. She's quite an expert at denial & putting on fronts. She bought exercise equipment & walking shoes & she talks about how great they are, (to show me that she can lose weight, too) but never uses them. Whenever a mutual friend comments on my weight loss, she'll chime in & say, "Look at ME...I lost 25 lbs." Of course she didn't lose an ounce. When we would discuss health issues like blood pressure, etc. she'll say "The only way to manage it is with drugs." But when I changed my diet & it normalized on its own, (118/60) she got even more angry with me.

I have a brother who is also overweight - by around 150 lbs. After I lost weight, he started making fun of me, calling me "Bones," & saying, "You're losing too much look sick." I told him, "170 lbs. for 5'11" is not too skinny; even my doctor said my weight is ideal." Same issue as with my sister; I became a constant reminded of what he couldn't do.

A similar issue with a former friend: We were both smokers. 36 years ago I quit smoking. My friend didn't want to hang around with me any more. I never encouraged him to quit or bragged about my quitting or complained about his smoking. I realized what the problem was: Smokers are actually drug addicts & when I quit, I became "out of the club - no longer one of them." And, (just as with my sister), seeing me reminded him of what he couldn't accomplish.
Real friends ARE supportive; Fair-Weather Friends are not.

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