I need help to help

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I need help to help


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Old 04-02-2015, 04:09   #1
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Hi, I have a girlfriend whose family members are diabetic and have heart disease problems. My girlfriend is in her late 20s and I get very worried about her. She loves eating chocolate and anything that's sweet (not so much fruits). I tried to talk to her, tell her how much I care and how I get worried about her health, but I find that she's been eating more and more sweets lately, sometimes finishing a box of cookies.
She doesn't exercice much and I also tried to encourage her to join a gym together but she usually feels "lazy" or doesn't feel comfortable around people.
I tried to tell her how chocolate works, that it's like a cycle : the more we eat it, the more we want it, but she doesn't seem to care. She only replies that that's how she's always been.
After having done her blood test, the results showed that she was close to being diabetic...but still, no sign of initiative from her part.
I feel like no matter how much I'll talk about it, my words won't matter. What is there to do? I would really appreciate your help and advice.

Gary

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Old 04-02-2015, 04:32   #2
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Well, it's a cinch nagging isn't gonna work. Unless she decides some changes are necessary, nothing you say is going to have any effect. It's the same as with quitting smoking or drinking or anything else others think is bad for us, we have to want to change for ourselves. Being adults gives us that autonomy over our own lives. How long have you two been together?




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Old 04-02-2015, 04:47   #3
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Thank you for your reply. We've been together for three years and I've talked about this only twice, and I never tried to blame her and say things like "why are you eating so much" or tell her what to do. I always try to focus on telling her that I do care, and all I want for her is to be healthy.
She did tell me that she wants to be healthy for me, but then I don't really see it. I do realize that no matter how much we talk to someone, the change has to come from themselves, I guess that's the difficult thing for me to accept at the moment.

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Old 04-02-2015, 08:50   #4
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You have two problems here.

First and foremost. She is an adult, and she has a perfect right to make her own decisions. Efforts at persuasion won't work.

Second. We live in a society where unhealthy non-foods are plentiful and healthy foods are harder to find, and more expensive, to boot. Typically it takes super-powerful inner motivation to fly in the face of, well, almost everybody -- especially when it comes to making lifelong changes.

The best way to offer support is to take her to places and events that do not center around food. Gyms and sports are great -- but simple walking is, perhaps, the best exercise of all, especially for the exercise non-prone. Walking exercises the mind and the senses, as well as the body.

If you do not tout the benefits, but simply offer her a glimpse of new ways, it may help. Or not. After all is done, her choices are her own.

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Old 04-02-2015, 10:27   #5
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You could browse the forum together or ask her to join up. Another resource that will help would be BloodSugar101.

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Old 04-02-2015, 13:05   #6
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It's nice that you are willing to be supportive, but a little knowledge will help you understand that she is not "lazy" because she eats too much. The opposite is the real fact. She is tired because she's not taking up enough nutrition (despite eating a lot of starchy foods).

Here's how it works. When a person eats sugar/starch it is digested immediately into glucose and raises the glucose in the blood (BG). In a normal person the pancreas secretes enough insulin to cause the cells in the body to take up the glucose as fuel. In someone has a faulty metabolism (i.e., diabetes) this process is not working as well as it should. The cells begin to resist taking on more glucose so BG rises beyond normal range. Then, in order to get rid of excess BG, insulin will store it in the fat cells. As the body cells become more and more resistant to taking up glucose (called Insulin Resistance), more and more glucose is stored - leaving the cells crying out for the very thing they refuse to take up. This causes the person to feel hungry and they eat more and more carbohydrate laden foods - but they just feel tired and hungry. It is a vicious cycle.

So, be supportive, of course. But it's not so simple as "don't eat so much". Unless she understands that she can break this cycle by changing the way she eats - to a low-carb way of eating, then she will continue as is and eventually her blood work will show full-blown diabetes.

I would encourage you to encourage her to become better informed of her condition. Blood Sugar 101 is a perfect place to begin. And if she is inclined, we would invite her to join us here. Just reading the introduction threads would be a good place for her to see that when people take charge of their health, good things happen.

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Old 04-02-2015, 13:18   #7
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As usual, John has nailed it.

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Old 04-02-2015, 13:26   #8
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No I didn't - that's VeeJay's post!

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Old 04-02-2015, 13:36   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John.in.France View Post
No I didn't - that's VeeJay's post!
OOPS! Actually, I fouled it up even worse than that.

I was actually commenting on Shalynne's post.

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Old 04-02-2015, 14:00   #10
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RCG - have you had your morning coffee yet?

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