Frustrated Parent of Type 1 18-yr old

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Frustrated Parent of Type 1 18-yr old


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Old 01-05-2011, 00:34   #1
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Default Frustrated Parent of Type 1 18-yr old

I am writing because I am a frustrated, worried mom.

My daughter is 18 years old and was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes almost 4 years ago (Feb 11, 2007).

At first things were going pretty well. She did so well she progressed to the insulin pump. She is pumping with a Medtronics Mini Med.

She adapted well to that and now within the last 6-9 months she has gone crazy. She has a ALOT of anxiety and social issues (not related to her diagnosis). She is in counseling for this which did get worse due to diabetes.

It is not unusual for her to have blood sugars in the 400-500-600 ranges several times in a week.

She has started smoking (not the end of the world but certainly not a good thing) and her A1C continues to go up.

In July it was 9; November 10 and probably now it is much higher. Her Dr. has talked to her about the risks of not managing, her counselor, and of course all of her family.

She has recently met with her Diabetes Educator who suggested I quit being on her case. She was supposed to give me a cable so that we could download her BGs twice weekly. I'm not supposed to ask but to look at charts, figures, etc. I'm supposed to let the educator be the "bad guy."

Her counselor is well aware of her high blood sugars and very frustrated. Luckily she isn't having any problems as a result--no ketones. Of course, she doesn't feel well--her daily complaint is that she aches, feels nauseous, and miserable all over. Yet, she doesn't do anything to feel good.

I've suggested that she is depressed and could possibly need medication. She said "I'm not taking medicine and you can't make me."

In case you haven't figured out, she is very inmature--she has always lagged about 2 to 2-1/2 years behind in maturity so if that's true, then we're dealing with a 15-1/2 or 16-yr old mentality.

She is a Sr. in High School. This should be the best year of her life and so far it's been horrible.

Anyway, any suggestions from parents or from Type 1 diabetics. Do I just let her get so sick she goes in the hospital? (who pays that bill?--me!).

I can't imagine being her either--I know it sucks but it isn't the end of the world either. She can do anything she wants and not let this be a death sentence. She has a friend who is Type 1 (who doesn't take great care of herself either) and we have a family member who is type 1 who is more than willing to be there for her (but she won't reach out). We have a lot of support and are fortunate for all we have. We have good insurance and I feel like I try to be a supportive, caring, and understanding mom....HELP!

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Old 01-05-2011, 02:30   #2
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Default T1...daughter

You have taken the most important steps, getting your daughter a counselor and a diabetes educator. I was diagnosed in 1945 and ran high blood sugar for many years. That was because not much was known about diabetes back then and the doctors were no help. Later on there was better information and the technology we have today. I have now been type 1 for 65 years and I am very healthy.

I am telling you that so you will know that even after much high blood sugar, it is still possible to have a long, healthy life. There is no guarantee that things will go equally well for your daughter, so every effort should be taken to put her on the right path to good control, as soon as possible.

I recommend your joining the following site which was created for parents of diabetic children:

children with DIABETES Online Community

Good luck to you and your daughter!

Richard

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I have been Type 1 for 73 years. My A1c is 6.2. I pump with the MM 630, and I am using the Dexcom G5.
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Old 01-05-2011, 05:26   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kinjudith View Post
I am writing because I am a frustrated, worried mom.

My daughter is 18 years old and was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes almost 4 years ago (Feb 11, 2007).

At first things were going pretty well. She did so well she progressed to the insulin pump. She is pumping with a Medtronics Mini Med.

She adapted well to that and now within the last 6-9 months she has gone crazy. She has a ALOT of anxiety and social issues (not related to her diagnosis). She is in counseling for this which did get worse due to diabetes.

It is not unusual for her to have blood sugars in the 400-500-600 ranges several times in a week.

She has started smoking (not the end of the world but certainly not a good thing) and her A1C continues to go up.

In July it was 9; November 10 and probably now it is much higher. Her Dr. has talked to her about the risks of not managing, her counselor, and of course all of her family.

She has recently met with her Diabetes Educator who suggested I quit being on her case. She was supposed to give me a cable so that we could download her BGs twice weekly. I'm not supposed to ask but to look at charts, figures, etc. I'm supposed to let the educator be the "bad guy."

Her counselor is well aware of her high blood sugars and very frustrated. Luckily she isn't having any problems as a result--no ketones. Of course, she doesn't feel well--her daily complaint is that she aches, feels nauseous, and miserable all over. Yet, she doesn't do anything to feel good.

I've suggested that she is depressed and could possibly need medication. She said "I'm not taking medicine and you can't make me."

In case you haven't figured out, she is very inmature--she has always lagged about 2 to 2-1/2 years behind in maturity so if that's true, then we're dealing with a 15-1/2 or 16-yr old mentality.

She is a Sr. in High School. This should be the best year of her life and so far it's been horrible.

Anyway, any suggestions from parents or from Type 1 diabetics. Do I just let her get so sick she goes in the hospital? (who pays that bill?--me!).

I can't imagine being her either--I know it sucks but it isn't the end of the world either. She can do anything she wants and not let this be a death sentence. She has a friend who is Type 1 (who doesn't take great care of herself either) and we have a family member who is type 1 who is more than willing to be there for her (but she won't reach out). We have a lot of support and are fortunate for all we have. We have good insurance and I feel like I try to be a supportive, caring, and understanding mom....HELP!
Hello and welcome to the forum. I am not a parent, but your daughter is not a child anymore, she is 18. Running high blood sugar levels is not the ideal situation and you are being the supportive mom. Continue to care and try to find out as much about her diabetes as you can. I remember when I turned 18, it was a confusing time. I got engaged to be married on my 18th birthday and my parents were not happy with my decision but I was 18 and I could make my own decisions. I could even take a day off from school and I signed my own sick notices. Now that I am older and I can look back at my decision to get married so young, it wasn't a good decision, I was divorced at 22. I was in no way financially able to live out on my own, so I had to move home to live. I found that most of my parent's rules were too strict for me to handle and within 6 months of living at home again, I was then financially able to move out. I loved my freedom and to me "happiness was being single". I lived out on my own for 25 years and lost my job due to a bad economy and I am once again living at home and it is really difficult to live at home again at my age. I wish that my Mom understood diabetes like you do. It is kind of difficult for me to try and explain a "hypo" or my A1C. It may take a hospital stay for your daughter to understand that diabetes is nothing to play around with, she knows the deal. To come to a forum for help shows how much you care. I hope things change for the better for you. Take care and visit often.

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Old 01-05-2011, 18:37   #4
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Welcome to DF. Although none of my children were diabetics they were all teenagers. This is very normal behavior for 18 year olds. I know as a mom you want to do everything to protect your children but sometimes you have to let go a little, even if they fail. This is part of growing up. On anothr forum I remember several type 1's saying they went through a similar stage in their late teens and early 20's. But finally came to their senses. You have done all you can by providing her with doctors and counselors she needs. I would tell her you love her and you trust her to make the right decisions about her health, but don't make them for her.

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Old 01-05-2011, 23:05   #5
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Thank you for the encouraging words. I will just keep praying that she gets through this phase as fast as she can. I appreciate your support!

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Old 01-05-2011, 23:48   #6
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My youngest is now 21 and still has a mind of her own and doesn't need mom for anything, except my credit card.

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diagnosed Feb 2007
metformin-2550
low carb organic diet
3 T of Coconut Oil daily
moderate exercise- mostly walking 3-5 miles, tennis - 4 hours per week, weight training, hiking on weekends and vacations 7-10 miles

HbA1c 5.3 3/11
HbA1c 6.1 5/12

Age 62
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