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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Please let me know if the following discussion is completely out of line. Since I am a moderator, I can ban myself. :p

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I Love this DOCTOR!!!!

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is
this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...
don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain?Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
daily allowance of vegetable products.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled
wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
Pain...Good !

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ... Foods are fried these days in
vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?


Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.


Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - bodythoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride"
__________________
My book: Beating The Odds: 64 Years of Diabetes Health.
 

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Really cute Richard! :D
 

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Where's this doctor Richard, I adore chocolate!!!! :D And it's very very funny. An academy award. You are Richard. :first::pound:
 

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Please let me know if the following discussion is completely out of line. Since I am a moderator, I can ban myself. :p

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If I thought you were serious, I'd be concerned, because:

Field mice eat wheat, corn and grasses.
Rattle snakes eat field mice, so how could rattlesnakes be more dangerous than wheat, corn, grass- or mice?

ie. If A is good, and B is good
A + B = C, does not imply that C=A or C=B
 

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Oh man....he wasnt serious? Shoot...and I thought I had finally found a diet plan I could live with! :D
 

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Please let me know if the following discussion is completely out of line. Since I am a moderator, I can ban myself. :p

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If I thought you were serious, I'd be concerned, because:

Field mice eat wheat, corn and grasses.
Rattle snakes eat field mice, so how could rattlesnakes be more dangerous than wheat, corn, grass- or mice?

ie. If A is good, and B is good
A + B = C, does not imply that C=A or C=B
just my two cents :eyebrows:

shouldn't it be A = wheat grass corn
B = mice
C = rattlesnakes

C<B<A, where < is the mouth of the eater?

that's what my second grade Math teacher said....

have a good one people,

MARC
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I like that Marc, thanks! It reminds me of the old Pac Man eaters in the computer games.
 

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I especially liked the 'no pain, good!' part. That 'no pain no gain' strikes me as one of the dummer ideas around.

It's on par with 'save the best for last.' To put that another way, 'use the worst first.' Not a very smart way to live.
 
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