Lia, you are correct in in much of what you stated. A small quantity of calcium is necessary to make Vitamin D more effective and fully functional, but not excessive amounts of calcium.
Please read this by Dr. Miller The Heart Scan Blog: The folly of an RDA for vitamin D . This may further answer some of what you wrote.
Please read this by Dr. Miller The Heart Scan Blog: The folly of an RDA for vitamin D . This may further answer some of what you wrote.