[BTtype2]

Hi Again,

Haven't been here for the last 6 months (only posted a few times) but thought I'd share my struggles. So, the last time I was here I was getting my blood sugar under good control and brought my A1C down from 9.8 to 5.8, lost a chunk of weight, and was feeling pretty good, BUT then I got cocky......

Since I was taking metformin twice a day, I thought that would allow me to 'cheat' a little here and there, but being a compulsive eater and carb-junky you know where that road took me - to HELL!!

I ended up binging almost daily on pizza, chocolate, subs, etc. and after a few months I gained all the weight back (I was down to 290 from 320ish) and was feeling miserable once again. Finally, I hit a real low about 10 days ago after gorging on Chinese food and chocolate cake for desert - I started feeling really ill and out of sorts the next morning, so I took my blood sugar (I haven't been testing these last 6 months either - I didn't want to know) and was horrified to see it register at 350 (it took a few days for it to come under 200). I got really scared and had one of those 'moments' which shocked me back to reality.

The tricks and games I play with myself is simply unbelievable when it comes to eating what I want to eat. After seeing my blood so high it was a dark cold reminder that I was killing myself and feeling the bloat from my weight gain made it even moreso horrific. I'm amazed that I can ignore reality in my constant quest to feed the monster within - it is and always has been my struggle.

So with a fresh start and new vigor for my health, I climbed back on the wagon and will take it one day/meal at a time. It's been about 10 days now and my fasting reading this morning was at 129. Whew! I've been low carbing and doing some light exercise to get me started. Feeling a lot better already and sleeping slightly better as well (have sleep apnea). I'm going to the doc next month for my next A1C test, hopefully I haven't done too much damage.

Just thought I'd share. Hope everyone here is doing well and not struggling as much as I am.

 

[onaughmae]

Welcome back BT

Many of us have fallen off the wagon a few times. It happens. Hell, I have fallen off and been dragged for miles behind it before What matters is this....you pick yourself up and dust yourself off and realize that today is a new day. You are getting yourself back in control and thats what matters. Good luck to you and stop by often. We are all here to support each other, cheer each other on...and offer a swift kick when you need it

 

[Shanny]

The tricks and games I play with myself is simply unbelievable when it comes to eating what I want to eat. I'm amazed that I can ignore reality in my constant quest to feed the monster within - it is and always has been my struggle.

Boy howdy, Bruce . . . you hit the nail square on the head this time . . . we have incredible powers of self-delusion, don't we?! :faint2:

Pam put it in a nutshell . . . we've all done it & we'll no doubt do it again, but what matters is we get up & get back on the wagon. Coming here helps me a great deal . . . there are even a coupla boards to check in every day with FBG and whatever exercise we get - being accountable to post it every day keeps a lot of people honest!

So one day at a time - one meal at a time. Glad to have you back!

 

[breezeonby]

Hi Again,

Haven't been here for the last 6 months (only posted a few times) but thought I'd share my struggles. So, the last time I was here I was getting my blood sugar under good control and brought my A1C down from 9.8 to 5.8, lost a chunk of weight, and was feeling pretty good, BUT then I got cocky......

Since I was taking metformin twice a day, I thought that would allow me to 'cheat' a little here and there, but being a compulsive eater and carb-junky you know where that road took me - to HELL!!

I ended up binging almost daily on pizza, chocolate, subs, etc. and after a few months I gained all the weight back (I was down to 290 from 320ish) and was feeling miserable once again. Finally, I hit a real low about 10 days ago after gorging on Chinese food and chocolate cake for desert - I started feeling really ill and out of sorts the next morning, so I took my blood sugar (I haven't been testing these last 6 months either - I didn't want to know) and was horrified to see it register at 350 (it took a few days for it to come under 200). I got really scared and had one of those 'moments' which shocked me back to reality.

The tricks and games I play with myself is simply unbelievable when it comes to eating what I want to eat. After seeing my blood so high it was a dark cold reminder that I was killing myself and feeling the bloat from my weight gain made it even moreso horrific. I'm amazed that I can ignore reality in my constant quest to feed the monster within - it is and always has been my struggle.

So with a fresh start and new vigor for my health, I climbed back on the wagon and will take it one day/meal at a time. It's been about 10 days now and my fasting reading this morning was at 129. Whew! I've been low carbing and doing some light exercise to get me started. Feeling a lot better already and sleeping slightly better as well (have sleep apnea). I'm going to the doc next month for my next A1C test, hopefully I haven't done too much damage.

Just thought I'd share. Hope everyone here is doing well and not struggling as much as I am.

Welcome back and try not to be too hard on yourself! You have made a fresh start and that is all that matters now! Let us know how we can help you stay on the wagon, OK?

 

[BTtype2]

Thanks for the kind words, so far so good. These next two weeks are tough though - Temptations are everywhere, especially in my office which is loaded with Chocolates, pizza, and people bringing in all sorts of holiday stuff - they have pumpkin bread today.....

MUST STAY OUT OF THE KIOSK!!!


Wishing everyone happy holidays.

 

[Shanny]

If there are nuts/cheeses/sausage/etc., offered in all the holiday treats, try to stick to those - they won't wreck your BG, and you still get to partake a bit.

 

[breezeonby]

Take in a cheese tray and sit it down beside the chocolate cake. Your cheese tray will be gone before the cake, I bet. The food for holidays are not good for a diabetic, we just have to be strong. May you have a wonderful holiday!

 

[Wink]

To help me avoid the temptations of an office full of no-no's I bring in my own treats (almonds, low carb hot cocoa, cheese, meat) so I can join in the gluttony without harm. The hot cocoa really helps when the chocolate goodies call to me - I use Hershey sugar free syrup, 3 oz heavy cream, and the rest water. Sometimes I add a drop of vanilla or almond extract. Yum!

 

[thcri]

My dad use to tell me that a guy can't get back up until he has fallen completely off his horse. Sounds like you might have here. So as others have said, Wipe off the dust and get back on it. There is one thing I always remind myself of and that was not being able to see after I was diagnosed. It was three weeks of hell and I never want to go through that again. One other thing, there is good people here willing to help you if your here to accept it.