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So, like I said in my introduction post I am overweight and reached as high as 322lbs. I’m now hovering around 290 and since I've been eating a lower carbohydrate daily lifestyle I feel a hundred times better than when I was gorging on ice cream, pastries, bread, and pasta every day. I remember years ago my “top” weight was at 278 and I went on the Dr. Atkins diet for an entire year - got down to a stunning 192lbs! Which for me, being a large framed guy standing almost 5 11 looked darn good relatively speaking. I never felt better in all my life as I did on that diet, and after a year of eating under 30-40 carbs a day it became all too easy.

BUT, of course like a lot of other folks, I looked at it as a diet and not a lifestyle change and lo and behold fell off the wagon. Seven years later I was over 300lbs again. Talk about heartbreaking. I just can’t believe I let myself fall so far. And man what a fall it was. Some say its unsustainable living on such a diet but I have a friend who started with me over 8 years ago and 125lbs lost later, his life has reached new heights he never previously thought were possible. This gives me some hope, since I now have to give up my favorite sugary-carby foods more or less for good. I’ve known for many years what a carbohydrate addict I am and what the affects of sugar have/had on my body. If I eat one brownie, cookie, or anything of that nature, I’ll be banging on the door of the local pastry shop begging the clerk to re-open his store after closing time (true story btw).

More to the point, one of my issues is that I have to fend off the monster inside on a daily basis. As far as I can tell, I’m a compulsive eater and at certain times in my life been able to keep it under control; obviously not too well this last 7 years. I know this disease is genetic and all, but I do feel that my compulsive eating may have also contributed to my new situation. I would binge on pizza, subs, pasta (pound at a time), and anything SUGAR I could get my hands on. And I mean binge……….. (I’ll spare the grizzly details here).

What I’m afraid of is, even though my blood sugar is now being controlled, who is going to control me! You know how they say sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Well, that’s me for sure. Only a week ago (before I was testing), I went on a “minor” binge and ate 4 donuts and had a HUGE Italian sub. I shudder to think what my readings would have been like. Even armed with all my self-realizations, history, and newly diagnosis of being type II, still, I had my little binge last week, and in fact had donuts more than a few times in the last month to be honest. I know it’s up to me and in my hands, but I really do feel like what an alcoholic would feel like in some ways. After doing some research, I’ve found that there are some links between alcoholics and compulsion (overeating being one of many), so it’s no surprise to me.

I know I’m going beyond the Diabetes subject a little here, but I wanted to paint a better picture and see if anyone else struggles with the same monsters that I do. One would think there are many over-eaters/ compulsive eaters who are diabetic, but I don’t really have any data on that to confirm. I’m hoping that doing some regular testing may keep me in better check and make me more responsible for my own actions, but the jury is still out on that one. So far, the last week I’ve been a good boy, but the monster lurks, and boy is he hungry! Can anyone else relate? I would love to hear from others who struggle as well, especially from diabetics because it’s even more so important to eat properly.

Sorry for rambling but I do enjoy writing, and the more I write and think about these things, hopefully will manifest into something positive. At the least I'll gain some more insight. In fact, I’ve been working on a book in my spare time about my weight loss struggles, compulsion issues, and health issues, etc. but I’ve only completed the first 3 chapters. I’ve got lots to say and write about but so little time. Thanks for reading.
 

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Dont worry about long posts. If there is a limit on low long they can be I havent hit it yet and I am pretty chatty sometimes!

You do not struggle alone. Most of us have issues to some degree with food. Just the nature of the beast we deal with makes it so sometimes. There are times I would sell my sister for a huge piece of chocolate cake. Instead, I have a bite of my husbands and leave it at that. I have spent my time binging and totally not caring what it was doing to my blood sugar. Just about 4 months ago now I was *so* out of control that I was literally killing myself. I had been happily sailing down the river Denial and just ignoring the fact that I have been diabetic most of my life. I figured I was taking my meds and I felt ok...so why bother with all that silly testing. Finally I got so sick I could barely function and decided I better check it....was over 350. I went to the dr and he told me to go to an endocrinologist (which I should have been doing all along) and they immediately put me on insulin. My A1C was 12.6 :( No wonder I was so sick! But my point is....now that I am in the best control I have been in years...I feel *so* much better that it is easier for me to keep to the plan. I didnt even realize how crappy I was feeling until I didnt feel that way anymore. Every now and then I get a real craving for a "comfort carb". But now I am satisfied with just a small amount of it. I was craving french fries so badly the other day and I havent eaten any in months....so I got a small order and immediately fed half of them to the dog before I could change my mind. I was satisfied with the amount I had, and of course I counted the carbs with my meal. I also find that when I realize how many carbs are in what I want...and how much of my meal I am going to have to give up to "pay for it" I find that I think its mostly not worth it :)

So, I can definately relate! Feel free to post anytime you need to rant and rave about it...sometimes it helps and we have all been there at some point or another.
 

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Been there too, Bruce. Although I haven't been the kind of binger who could eat everything in sight & go looking for more, I've always been a grazer. Food goes into my mouth that I'm hardly aware of. Since D, I've removed the worst offenders from the house, and anything that's edible & handy is zero or low carbs. But it's a real problem. Last week when I had to fast for two days - full liquid diet the first day & clear liquids the second day - I thought I'd go nuts. Had not realized how totally addicted I am to having food in my mouth - food that requires CHEWING!

If I had any good tricks to teach you, I'd do it - but removing carbs from my environment is the only trick I know! :eek:

When I quit smoking many years ago, I just quit. Never lit up again. If I could only treat my diabetes and weight loss by the same method! Just never eat again. I could do that. :rolleyes:
 

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So, like I said in my introduction post I am overweight and reached as high as 322lbs. I’m now hovering around 290 and since I've been eating a lower carbohydrate daily lifestyle I feel a hundred times better than when I was gorging on ice cream, pastries, bread, and pasta every day. I remember years ago my “top” weight was at 278 and I went on the Dr. Atkins diet for an entire year - got down to a stunning 192lbs! Which for me, being a large framed guy standing almost 5 11 looked darn good relatively speaking. I never felt better in all my life as I did on that diet, and after a year of eating under 30-40 carbs a day it became all too easy.

BUT, of course like a lot of other folks, I looked at it as a diet and not a lifestyle change and lo and behold fell off the wagon. Seven years later I was over 300lbs again. Talk about heartbreaking. I just can’t believe I let myself fall so far. And man what a fall it was. Some say its unsustainable living on such a diet but I have a friend who started with me over 8 years ago and 125lbs lost later, his life has reached new heights he never previously thought were possible. This gives me some hope, since I now have to give up my favorite sugary-carby foods more or less for good. I’ve known for many years what a carbohydrate addict I am and what the affects of sugar have/had on my body. If I eat one brownie, cookie, or anything of that nature, I’ll be banging on the door of the local pastry shop begging the clerk to re-open his store after closing time (true story btw).

More to the point, one of my issues is that I have to fend off the monster inside on a daily basis. As far as I can tell, I’m a compulsive eater and at certain times in my life been able to keep it under control; obviously not too well this last 7 years. I know this disease is genetic and all, but I do feel that my compulsive eating may have also contributed to my new situation. I would binge on pizza, subs, pasta (pound at a time), and anything SUGAR I could get my hands on. And I mean binge……….. (I’ll spare the grizzly details here).

What I’m afraid of is, even though my blood sugar is now being controlled, who is going to control me! You know how they say sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Well, that’s me for sure. Only a week ago (before I was testing), I went on a “minor” binge and ate 4 donuts and had a HUGE Italian sub. I shudder to think what my readings would have been like. Even armed with all my self-realizations, history, and newly diagnosis of being type II, still, I had my little binge last week, and in fact had donuts more than a few times in the last month to be honest. I know it’s up to me and in my hands, but I really do feel like what an alcoholic would feel like in some ways. After doing some research, I’ve found that there are some links between alcoholics and compulsion (overeating being one of many), so it’s no surprise to me.

I know I’m going beyond the Diabetes subject a little here, but I wanted to paint a better picture and see if anyone else struggles with the same monsters that I do. One would think there are many over-eaters/ compulsive eaters who are diabetic, but I don’t really have any data on that to confirm. I’m hoping that doing some regular testing may keep me in better check and make me more responsible for my own actions, but the jury is still out on that one. So far, the last week I’ve been a good boy, but the monster lurks, and boy is he hungry! Can anyone else relate? I would love to hear from others who struggle as well, especially from diabetics because it’s even more so important to eat properly.

Sorry for rambling but I do enjoy writing, and the more I write and think about these things, hopefully will manifest into something positive. At the least I'll gain some more insight. In fact, I’ve been working on a book in my spare time about my weight loss struggles, compulsion issues, and health issues, etc. but I’ve only completed the first 3 chapters. I’ve got lots to say and write about but so little time. Thanks for reading.
I love all types of carbs. There is a beast that lives inside me and sometimes it gets the best of me. I am not a compulsive eater but once again I love carbs. I struggle with temptation everyday. Some days are better than others. I live with my Mom and she is not diabetic and snacks all day long and still weighs a buck twenty. While she buys a bag of cotton candy, I buy a bag of chopped romaine lettuce. I just have to turn my head and tell myself that I can not gorge on carbs. I already went through a period where I could not afford to test or treat my diabetes due to unemployment and no insurance and do not ever want to go down that path again. I have some complications now that are mild in nature but they still bother me but I have no one to blame but myself. Write as much as you want on here, I love to read the posts on here, they are a reminder that I am not alone with some of my demons.
 

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Wow, After reading the thread i thought for some time thinking about what to write as this is obviously a sensitive and personal subject.

I find myself comfort eat when things are going wrong and eating the wrong foods for the feel good factor, but feel guilty as hell after.

At present i'm 6ft tall and 18 st 12, which in pounds is 228 so i'm a little chubby on the IBM chart myself.


Best wishes.
Lee
 

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This is an amazing amazing thread. Thank you for writing it out Bruce.

i am not a typer by any stretch of the imagination. wish i was for times like these.

i will take this time to give my "cliff notes" on myself here (i really just need to put it in my sig, which i might do after im done with this post.

last month i turned 39. in January i went to the doctor for the first time in more years then i care to remember. years and years of being w/o medical insurance + the "im too stubborn" to go mentality.

Blood work was done and i was diagnosed T2 with an A1C of 7.8 and fasting BG of 266.

At diagnosis (1/26/10) i was 6'2" 268 pounds. Scary part of it all was that the nine or so months before diagnosis i had changed my diet (was eating better, no candy, cake or sweets) so i wonder what my fasting BG was back when i was eating whatever i wanted.

and believe me, back then, i did eat whatever i wanted.
Reeses PB Cups were my weakness, eating at least one package a day, usually more.

since diagnosis, ive gone on a strict strict strict diet, trying to eliminate man made carbs all together. That combined with
walking 3-5 miles a day, rain or shine have helped me lose 74 pounds so far since diagnosis.

my friends and family think that ive lost too mcuh weight. im 6'2" 194 now, and would like to lose another 14 pounds. According to the BMI people, i am (for the first time since adolescence) "normal weight" with a BMI of 24.9

Im very proud of that. But im not going to lie...its VERY difficult. with being said, i find it easier to talk to fellow T2ers about how they are doing and i find that the interaction helps me with my daily struggles.

ok, that went on a lot longer than i thought it would. Sorry to hijack your thread Bruce, but your posting really struck a cord of familiarity.

As a fat man thats recently lost a bunch of weight, i can totally relate to that damn monster inside
 
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