So, like I said in my introduction post I am overweight and reached as high as 322lbs. I’m now hovering around 290 and since I've been eating a lower carbohydrate daily lifestyle I feel a hundred times better than when I was gorging on ice cream, pastries, bread, and pasta every day. I remember years ago my “top” weight was at 278 and I went on the Dr. Atkins diet for an entire year - got down to a stunning 192lbs! Which for me, being a large framed guy standing almost 5 11 looked darn good relatively speaking. I never felt better in all my life as I did on that diet, and after a year of eating under 30-40 carbs a day it became all too easy.
BUT, of course like a lot of other folks, I looked at it as a diet and not a lifestyle change and lo and behold fell off the wagon. Seven years later I was over 300lbs again. Talk about heartbreaking. I just can’t believe I let myself fall so far. And man what a fall it was. Some say its unsustainable living on such a diet but I have a friend who started with me over 8 years ago and 125lbs lost later, his life has reached new heights he never previously thought were possible. This gives me some hope, since I now have to give up my favorite sugary-carby foods more or less for good. I’ve known for many years what a carbohydrate addict I am and what the affects of sugar have/had on my body. If I eat one brownie, cookie, or anything of that nature, I’ll be banging on the door of the local pastry shop begging the clerk to re-open his store after closing time (true story btw).
More to the point, one of my issues is that I have to fend off the monster inside on a daily basis. As far as I can tell, I’m a compulsive eater and at certain times in my life been able to keep it under control; obviously not too well this last 7 years. I know this disease is genetic and all, but I do feel that my compulsive eating may have also contributed to my new situation. I would binge on pizza, subs, pasta (pound at a time), and anything SUGAR I could get my hands on. And I mean binge……….. (I’ll spare the grizzly details here).
What I’m afraid of is, even though my blood sugar is now being controlled, who is going to control me! You know how they say sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Well, that’s me for sure. Only a week ago (before I was testing), I went on a “minor” binge and ate 4 donuts and had a HUGE Italian sub. I shudder to think what my readings would have been like. Even armed with all my self-realizations, history, and newly diagnosis of being type II, still, I had my little binge last week, and in fact had donuts more than a few times in the last month to be honest. I know it’s up to me and in my hands, but I really do feel like what an alcoholic would feel like in some ways. After doing some research, I’ve found that there are some links between alcoholics and compulsion (overeating being one of many), so it’s no surprise to me.
I know I’m going beyond the Diabetes subject a little here, but I wanted to paint a better picture and see if anyone else struggles with the same monsters that I do. One would think there are many over-eaters/ compulsive eaters who are diabetic, but I don’t really have any data on that to confirm. I’m hoping that doing some regular testing may keep me in better check and make me more responsible for my own actions, but the jury is still out on that one. So far, the last week I’ve been a good boy, but the monster lurks, and boy is he hungry! Can anyone else relate? I would love to hear from others who struggle as well, especially from diabetics because it’s even more so important to eat properly.
Sorry for rambling but I do enjoy writing, and the more I write and think about these things, hopefully will manifest into something positive. At the least I'll gain some more insight. In fact, I’ve been working on a book in my spare time about my weight loss struggles, compulsion issues, and health issues, etc. but I’ve only completed the first 3 chapters. I’ve got lots to say and write about but so little time. Thanks for reading.
BUT, of course like a lot of other folks, I looked at it as a diet and not a lifestyle change and lo and behold fell off the wagon. Seven years later I was over 300lbs again. Talk about heartbreaking. I just can’t believe I let myself fall so far. And man what a fall it was. Some say its unsustainable living on such a diet but I have a friend who started with me over 8 years ago and 125lbs lost later, his life has reached new heights he never previously thought were possible. This gives me some hope, since I now have to give up my favorite sugary-carby foods more or less for good. I’ve known for many years what a carbohydrate addict I am and what the affects of sugar have/had on my body. If I eat one brownie, cookie, or anything of that nature, I’ll be banging on the door of the local pastry shop begging the clerk to re-open his store after closing time (true story btw).
More to the point, one of my issues is that I have to fend off the monster inside on a daily basis. As far as I can tell, I’m a compulsive eater and at certain times in my life been able to keep it under control; obviously not too well this last 7 years. I know this disease is genetic and all, but I do feel that my compulsive eating may have also contributed to my new situation. I would binge on pizza, subs, pasta (pound at a time), and anything SUGAR I could get my hands on. And I mean binge……….. (I’ll spare the grizzly details here).
What I’m afraid of is, even though my blood sugar is now being controlled, who is going to control me! You know how they say sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Well, that’s me for sure. Only a week ago (before I was testing), I went on a “minor” binge and ate 4 donuts and had a HUGE Italian sub. I shudder to think what my readings would have been like. Even armed with all my self-realizations, history, and newly diagnosis of being type II, still, I had my little binge last week, and in fact had donuts more than a few times in the last month to be honest. I know it’s up to me and in my hands, but I really do feel like what an alcoholic would feel like in some ways. After doing some research, I’ve found that there are some links between alcoholics and compulsion (overeating being one of many), so it’s no surprise to me.
I know I’m going beyond the Diabetes subject a little here, but I wanted to paint a better picture and see if anyone else struggles with the same monsters that I do. One would think there are many over-eaters/ compulsive eaters who are diabetic, but I don’t really have any data on that to confirm. I’m hoping that doing some regular testing may keep me in better check and make me more responsible for my own actions, but the jury is still out on that one. So far, the last week I’ve been a good boy, but the monster lurks, and boy is he hungry! Can anyone else relate? I would love to hear from others who struggle as well, especially from diabetics because it’s even more so important to eat properly.
Sorry for rambling but I do enjoy writing, and the more I write and think about these things, hopefully will manifest into something positive. At the least I'll gain some more insight. In fact, I’ve been working on a book in my spare time about my weight loss struggles, compulsion issues, and health issues, etc. but I’ve only completed the first 3 chapters. I’ve got lots to say and write about but so little time. Thanks for reading.
No wonder I was so sick! But my point is....now that I am in the best control I have been in years...I feel *so* much better that it is easier for me to keep to the plan. I didnt even realize how crappy I was feeling until I didnt feel that way anymore. Every now and then I get a real craving for a "comfort carb". But now I am satisfied with just a small amount of it. I was craving french fries so badly the other day and I havent eaten any in months....so I got a small order and immediately fed half of them to the dog before I could change my mind. I was satisfied with the amount I had, and of course I counted the carbs with my meal. I also find that when I realize how many carbs are in what I want...and how much of my meal I am going to have to give up to "pay for it" I find that I think its mostly not worth it 
