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Friends...

5K views 28 replies 17 participants last post by  bps 
#1 ·
I had a conversation with one of my close friends today and it made me laugh... thought i'd share it with you all.

Friend: How are you feeling?

Me: I'm good now, much better. (thought she was talking about the viral infection i've had for the past week)

Friend: Oh good, can you eat lollies now?

Me: Huh? Oh your talking about my diabetes. No I don't eat lollies anymore.

Friend: Um, but when will you be able to eat them?

Me: I won't. I've made lifestyle changes to improve my life - I don't want to lose my sight or have my feet amputated you know.

Friend: I think you're being a bit over the top, a few lollies won't kill you.

Me: No it won't kill me, I just choose not to have them.

Friend: But I know lots of diabetics who eat sugary stuff and donuts and they're fine...


Not quite sure how people deal with friends like this lol. I just changed the subject, but I was a bit annoyed at the time since it was one of my closest friends. Hadn't come across anything like this before. I do think its quite funny now tho :)
 
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#2 ·
It IS annoying! You expect your closest friends to believe you and support you, for gosh sake! :rolleyes: You stick to your guns, Aribella!

If I'm faced with this, I just have to say "I'm not "lots of diabetics", I recognize that I have a dangerous disorder which will kill me inch by inch if I don't control it, and I have no intention of allowing diabetes to take my vision or my feet. (I learned this from my mom, who - when told the other kids' moms let them do such-and-such - always said "I'm not other kids' mom, I'm YOUR mom, and I say no."

I'm afraid I'm even guilty of using this on the forum here, when people say "other boards do thus-and-so", and I say, we aren't "other boards".
)
 
#3 ·
Bella, This is the kind of discussions I have literally every single day with people who think they are "telling me things for my good"

It's not my duty to educate them so I just agree with them and do whatever is the hell I want to do later.

Tony

..
 
#4 ·
LOL Shanny, you're so right. I just have to remind myself that some people aren't as educated on diabetes and don't understand how serious it can be if you don't take care of yourself!

Sounds like a plan, Tony :D The few people who i've told - first thing they always say is "but you can eat cake/sugar/bread/etc occasionally right? - everything in moderation" and i'm just like "Umm yeah sure...." then thinking to myself... no way i'm going to eat that and go backwards when i'm improving so much :)
 
#14 ·
Oh yeah . . . "everything in moderation"! Ask them if they had a peanut allergy, would they still eat peanuts in moderation?!
This is a good one!!! Love it. Self explanatory if you don't understand about diabetes. :thumb:
 
#6 ·
I had lunch yesterday in an upscale Mexican restaurant where they mix the guacamole table-side and all manner of things I'm not used to in CA. Anyway - I ordered a skirt steak which had 2 different sauces and a blue corn tortilla w/ some tortilla/cheese something on top. I asked to substitute black beans for the pinto-type and squash for the rice. So far so good. Then I asked please to leave off the tortillas but I'd take the cheese please.

The waiter leaves, comes back and says okay. Then he returns and says no, they say it's impossible. Alright then, l'll order something else as I'm diabetic and can't have tortillas and don't wish to see them in my food or navigate around them. He leaves again.

The owner of the restaurant (who had been gabbing w/ us as he knew one of my friends) comes and asks 'are you the one who can't eat tortillas?' Yes, I say. "Well, in the 8 years I've had the restaurants (a small chain), I've never heard a diabetic say they couldn't eat tortillas.'

My friend, who I had just the night before explained about my WOE, diabetes, etc, jumped in and said to him 'but most of the diabetics who eat tortillas aren't as controlled as she is ...' and I was so pleased! The owner backed down, other people at the table took notice, and it was a joy not to be the lone soldier explaining this yet again.

I got my food w/out tortillas and plenty of cheese :) And best of all, the owner learned something!
 
#7 ·
I actually told someone a few days back that I have a medical condition called "fructose intolerance" when she was trying to shove some fruits into me. It worked !

I dont even know whether such a thing even exists ? :D
 
#8 ·
Sorry to hear you experienced this.

i had the same thing happen to me when i started this life. If your friend doesnt come around, might be best for a new friend :)

my friends came around eventually and no longer bother me about it
 
#9 ·
Moon - I don't know how its too hard for them to leave something off the plate lol. I'm glad you got your way in the end and your friend supported you :)

I guess this is something thats going to come up a lot with people who don't understand the impact carbs have on us. I mean its pretty much water off a ducks back to me really, i'm still going to eat what I choose to eat and not what others think I should be eating. ;)
 
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#13 ·
I usually ask restaurants to leave something off or substitute it with something else. Most are pretty good. I had one waitress come back after talking to the chef and said they would have to charge me extra to leave stuff off the plate. WTH!!! I was visiting my sister several years ago and she was making cookies for my D father. Of course she was using Splenda but she was also using Oatmeal and Whole Wheat Flour. I tried to tell her those weren't D friendly cookies. She really did not like me interfering and interjected that my dad's CDE said he could have whole grain carbs, no problem. His CDE and doctor also told him to only test 2 times per week. So he would have no idea how much they spiked him. I think most diabetics who say they can eat these things, never test at 2 hours because they were never instructed to do so. I guess the philosophy is what you don't know can't hurt you.
 
#11 ·
I've had the same thing with friends but what really upsets me is when I have this conversation with my own daughters. Once during the holidays I was trying to tell my daughters that they are at risk for diabetes. They are in their 20's and 30's. I was told that Diabetes was no big deal and I was going overboard on the eating thing. They told me I was taking it way too seriously. I know when you are young you think you will live forever but if you could prevent onset of a disease by eating a certain way, why not. Most of my friends and family think I am nuts. I've just learned to live that way. They will never understand where I am coming from.
 
#12 ·
I use the same tactic as Tony. If I'm with someone who doesn't really care to know about diabetes and is saying stupid things, I just agree and ignore them. "Everything in moderation" "Oh yeah definitely..."

It's not worth my time or ruining our relationship over something that we will never see eye to eye on. I do the same thing for politics. :D
 
#15 ·
What is it with people and food? Seriously!

I know someone who suffers from really bad gastroparesis. Well it seems everyone he knows is trying to get him to eat (1) what he should stay away from and (2) huge meals, which he can't cope with at all.

Another person I know is very thin. Her entire her life she's been like that. Oh the stories she could tell you! She eats her 3 meals a day. She doesn't have anorexia. She is built that way, that's all!!! People try to feed her all the time.

And have you noticed that when someone mentions they are on a weight loss diet, it seems people come out of the wood work to simply mess up their diet...??!
 
#16 · (Edited)
This thread (and others we have here that are similar) should phase me is some way..... make me angry... make me cry... something... but the posts I read earlier this week seems to have numbed me to the inconsideration and idiocy of those that do not live with diabetes on a daily basis. The posts in question are from a tech forum that I frequent to keep me updated on new technologies and a few of you here are probably familiar with it. Read the comments.

Here's the link:

Norway Ran Out of Butter Because the Entire Country Ate It All for Their Fad Diet

Seems ignorance is the really IN fad nowadays. :rolleyes:
 
#19 ·
I have no problems with saying I'm allergic to fructose or carbs. I have some other allergies to foods...like okra, whey, the small avocados (not the Hass) and I feel this is an extension. So few people understand allergies and try to tell me I just don't like them which is not true. I live in LA and when I eat out, I've always asked if the gumbo contained okra (gives me a migraine) I guess I'm not scared to claim another allergy. Restaurants seem very aware of the dangers of allergies to food these days that it's easy. The peanut allergy seems to have gotten their attention. I also sometimes just say I'm diabetic if that seems the prudent course.
 
#20 ·
The big problem is that every person is so different. Some can't tolerate any carbs, but some people are OK as long as they keep their total carb amount controlled. My personal opinion is that I see a lot of diabetics around me who have given up on control completely because they've been told they can never have any carbs again, and they are in despair. I'd rather see those people eating controlled amounts of carbs and testing and monitoring again, than giving up on life. That's what I think of when I hear "moderation".
 
#21 ·
Jwags, too bad that your children do not heed your warnings and brush it off that you are "overreacting" with your WOE. My kids, on the other hand, see how I have to inject insulin 3-4 times a day, and watch everything that I eat and make choices that are difficult to make because you really love something (like pasta) but can't eat. They actually get all over my case if they think I'm eating something I shouldn't be eating. I have to sometimes explain that I can have a little of something and it won't bother me, as long as I don't overdo. My husband is another one who really watches my diet and what I'm eating. He follows the same type of diet (although he does eat many more carbs since he can), but began last year with me and he has gone from 285 lbs. to 214 lbs. at last count. I wish I could lose weight like that, but unfortunately the insulin makes it very difficult to lose weight, so I just count my blessings that I've kept it to a minimum since going back on insulin. I would really like to take off about 30 lbs., but once I'm under great control, then I'll worry about that.
In the meantime, I cannot believe that an owner of a restaurant tried to argue with you that other diabetics eat the tortillas and have no problem with it! Guess they don't understand that not all diabetics pay attention to their diet, and that the ADA probably told them it was okay to eat the tortillas. Go figure. If you don't want to explain, just tell them that you have an allergy to gluten. Easy enough.
 
#22 ·
A person close to me has a mushroom allergy. She can't have it, period. Mushrooms can't come into contact with her food or she'll end up in hospital. Would you believe that people still ask her : 'Are you sure you're allergic to mushrooms?' ... :rolleyes2: No, no, she goes into anaphylactic shock as a hobby. And would you believe at least two people did put mushrooms her food, fully aware of her extreme allergy, stating it's all in her head and I'll show her she can have mushrooms. And the Idiot of the Year Award goes to... :rant:

I don't know why people are like that with food... I really don't know.

Maybe some people have an urgent need to control absolutely everything in their life, even what other people put in their mouth??!?
 
#24 ·
A person close to me has a mushroom allergy. She can't have it, period. Mushrooms can't come into contact with her food or she'll end up in hospital. Would you believe that people still ask her : 'Are you sure you're allergic to mushrooms?' ... :rolleyes2: No, no, she goes into anaphylactic shock as a hobby. And would you believe at least two people did put mushrooms her food, fully aware of her extreme allergy, stating it's all in her head and I'll show her she can have mushrooms. And the Idiot of the Year Award goes to... :rant:

I don't know why people are like that with food... I really don't know.

Maybe some people have an urgent need to control absolutely everything in their life, even what other people put in their mouth??!?
I'd have to agree with your final assessment . . . some people will always believe that they have all the answers to everything for everybody. The very IDEA of secretly feeding her mushrooms is beyond my comprehension - she could have DIED!
 
#23 ·
Amazing. I'm just sitting here shaking my head at others' stupidity.

D came up at my Friday lunch group a couple weeks ago when the lunch ran so long that I needed to test my bg right there at the table. One person asked what I was doing, and then the whole table became interested, and bless their hearts, they listened respectfully and asked sensible questions. The next week one of them gave me a (quite reasonable) magazine article about diabetes that she'd run across and a bag of chia seeds for me to try.

I didn't know about some of these people before this, but now they've all moved up on my respect list. :D
 
#27 ·
I just love your story! :)

For all the idiots out there, I am the first one to forget there are good respectful eager to learn people out there too. Thanks!
 
#28 ·
I love all your stories - it would be great if there was more education out there about diabetes, especially with those who work in the food industries.

Even tho there are a lot of ignorant people out there (who bug us all lol) I have to admit, my immediate family and one particular friend have been very supportive.

And i've even converted my sister to LCHF! She has PCOS and doesn't want to end up a diabetic so has decided she'll just eat like me lol.
 
#29 ·
I have a friend who also has d. He rarely tests, and many (not all) times questions my restricting myself so much. Even though he doesn't test he says his dr is very happy with his A1c. I can't remember what his is but will ask him. He got me to eat some Chinese last week and following his advice, I spiked to 229. I haven't seen a 200+ number in 7 mos or so. Think I may have to shoot him....

Bernard
 
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