I've already been diagnosed with one life-long killer disease, lupus. I've also been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, Hashimoto's thyroiditis, epilepsy, and vitamin D deficiency. With all this in mind, you'd think a diabetes diagnosis would be no big deal to me. What's one more thing that could kill me when I already have an illness likely to be the end of me eventually?
But it's different. The emotional baggage attached to diabetes is so different. For me, that added baggage has to do with personal responsibility and self-esteem. With lupus, there's no societal perception that I've been a nasty, lazy glutton and brought it on myself. I don't have to practice perfect self-control to treat my lupus. I don't have to purposely and through willpower alone give up things I enjoy to try to survive lupus longer. My doctor hasn't shamed me for having lupus and lupus won't require me to use higher math before I know if I can eat a grape or not.
I wouldn't be honest if I said that the diabetes diagnosis isn't hitting me much, much harder. I'm still reeling, actually. I'm in the anger phase of grief, I guess. My problem with the anger is that my usual reaction to anger is to turn it inward and this blow to my emotions is no exception. I've been scrabbling around trying to figure out how I can do the low-carb diet in a way that is acceptable to me. I've even been trying to make calculations as to whether or not lupus will likely kill me before the diabetes- in which case, I might honestly just say screw it and not bother aggressively treating it.
I don't even know what I can eat or who I should listen to. I haven't been well enough to go grocery shopping and I'm broke until the third or fourth anyway. I've pretty much been eating canned tuna and sardines with what frozen, non-starchy vegetables I can rustle up. I'm seriously craving avocado. I hope it's something I can eat. Wow, I think my pain meds just kicked in because I'm not making sense anymore. They are hitting me harder after a brief time of not having them stay down. Anyway, I'm obviously feeling depressed about all this. How do you folks cope with those feelings?
But it's different. The emotional baggage attached to diabetes is so different. For me, that added baggage has to do with personal responsibility and self-esteem. With lupus, there's no societal perception that I've been a nasty, lazy glutton and brought it on myself. I don't have to practice perfect self-control to treat my lupus. I don't have to purposely and through willpower alone give up things I enjoy to try to survive lupus longer. My doctor hasn't shamed me for having lupus and lupus won't require me to use higher math before I know if I can eat a grape or not.
I wouldn't be honest if I said that the diabetes diagnosis isn't hitting me much, much harder. I'm still reeling, actually. I'm in the anger phase of grief, I guess. My problem with the anger is that my usual reaction to anger is to turn it inward and this blow to my emotions is no exception. I've been scrabbling around trying to figure out how I can do the low-carb diet in a way that is acceptable to me. I've even been trying to make calculations as to whether or not lupus will likely kill me before the diabetes- in which case, I might honestly just say screw it and not bother aggressively treating it.
I don't even know what I can eat or who I should listen to. I haven't been well enough to go grocery shopping and I'm broke until the third or fourth anyway. I've pretty much been eating canned tuna and sardines with what frozen, non-starchy vegetables I can rustle up. I'm seriously craving avocado. I hope it's something I can eat. Wow, I think my pain meds just kicked in because I'm not making sense anymore. They are hitting me harder after a brief time of not having them stay down. Anyway, I'm obviously feeling depressed about all this. How do you folks cope with those feelings?