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Physically, my wife seems to be adjusting to diabetes well. (She was diagnosed with type 1 in early January.) She sometimes experiences highs (200-250 or so) and lows (65-70 or so) although her blood sugar control seems to be quite good most of the time. Not being a diabetic myself, I don’t actually know how she might be feeling physically, but it does seem that she suffers much more emotionally than physically. She often seems frustrated and dispirited with life as a diabetic. From my perspective, her first week as a diabetic wasn’t too emotionally difficult for her; insulin made her feel much better than she did before she was diagnosed. After that, it seemed to get emotionally difficult, with some days much worse than others. Then, a couple weeks later, she seemed to be quite a lot happier. She seemed to have settled into life as a diabetic. But in the last few weeks, she seems to me to be frustrated and sad most of the time. By that, I don’t mean truly depressed, but sort of melancholy. Also, she seems to have a harder time sleeping through the night and also staying awake through the evening until bedtime; she often has to set her alarm to wake up at 10PM for her Lantus (basal insulin).

Her reasons for frustration are probably normal for new diabetics. She is often disappointed by family and friends who are not adequately supportive, especially with dietary considerations when choosing where to eat or what food to bring. Her own parents have been absolutely wonderful, but no matter how supportive my family and our church friends want to be, I don’t get a sense that any of them want to go the extra mile for her and they sometimes say things that are unwittingly insensitive. More generally, my wife misses the convenience and freedom of being a non-diabetic---being able to eat not just what she wants but also when she wants, not having to spend over an hour each day testing and injecting, not having to worry how some activity will affect her blood sugar. She also does not like the constant abuse her fingers have to take to tests, which, among other things, makes piano playing less enjoyable for her. (She’s built up calluses but that doesn’t keep her fingers from feeling sore, especially since she needs to use a higher setting to get blood from her fingers.)

Anyway, I was wondering how long it takes to emotionally adjust to life as a diabetic. Does there come a point where you stop feeling frustrated with the diabetic routine and rules and just accept it? Does there come a time when diabetes is no longer the focus of your life, where even though you still carry out your daily routine, diabetes is no longer the primary determinant of how you feel emotionally? Can you get to the point where you have a good day or a bad day without it having anything to do with diabetes? If so, how long does it take? I’m interested to hear both what type 1s and type 2s have to say although the type 1 experience is of course more relevant to my wife and me.
 

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I think you will get lots of different answers here. It has taken me 4 years to kind of accept this disease and do what I need to do to keep those bgs in a normal range. Even though I have adjusted to it, it is always looming right under the surface. I think what makes it worse for me is knowing about the complications that can come from bgs higher than normal. So I am almost obsessive about controlling what I eat to avoid bgs over 120. This makes it difficult to go to family gathering or out to restaurants without a lot of planning ahead what we can and cannot eat. I think this is something a non D cannot understand. All sorts of things raise our bgs- like food, emmotions, exercise, stress. Then there are days when you do everythig right and get terrible results. This is diabetes. Your wife is lucky to have you, but this is something she needs to learn to manage with its ups and downs. Maybe if she can come to the forum to express some of her frustrations, it would be good. Knowing others are going through the same thing has really helped me.
 

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There is no getting over it. And she doesn't need to accept the disease but she does need to accept the fact that she has it and that she needs to treat it. If I had accepted everything that I was told when I was diagnosed, almost 40 years ago, I would be blind, have had a kidney transplant, or have died by now. Let her know that there is no right or wrong way to treat it or to feel about it. It is a very personal and individual disease and every one is different. The one thing that we all can relate to is doing the best we can. Some days we do it right and other days we can only wish we had done it right. I can tell you that blood glucose levels have a lot do with my own moods. The other thing to remember is that it is not up to others make decissions based on her diabetes. If they choose a resteraunt that is not of her liking she has the option of not eating and eating when she gets home, or eating before she goes and then just have a salad or something else more to her liking.
 

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Your wife is very lucky to have such a supportive husband (so am I).

I am no expert. But I am a freshly-diagnosed Type 2 who went straight to insulin. Your wife and I are likely traveling similar paths.

This is a very harsh transition. Right now, it seems everything changes every single day. Some moments are better than others. (Yup. Moments, not days.) Exhausting. Hope that changes with time.

For me, not being able to just grab food on a whim, or to just walk into an eatery and order without thinking -- that's tougher than the dietary changes themselves. At least, it's this moment's toughest thing.

Suddenly, socializing became a minefield. Most of my playtime/family time is food-based to some extent. Once again, what was once simple is now complicated. Because I'm still learning what's right and wrong for me, I cannot tell anybody how to support me -- even if they ask me outright. Right now, too much is subject to change.

I don't expect anyone to go the extra mile. I know that every occasion will involve no-nos. But -- folks better not taunt/tempt/guilt me with the forbidden goodies, or criticize/scrutinize my choices. (You may need to run interference with folks on her behalf for awhile if they're prone to this kind of insensitivity.)

My diabetes has triggered a patience deficit! Could be a Good Thing.

Adjitater (above) offered some great advice on restaurant eating. Most restaurants will offer something edible -- I'm resurrecting my old habit of eating sandwich filling without the bread, f'r'instance. For potlucks, I figure I'll be responsible for bringing something I can both eat and share. Deviled eggs, or meat, cheese or veggie platters are easy (for those of us going low-carb).

As for the finger thing, is your wife pricking the ball of her fingerpads, or the side? I'm using the sides of my fingertips and more-or-less rotating among them. She might be able to use a gentler setting that way, and avoid injuring the piano-playing fingerbits.

Once again, your wife is a very lucky woman. Maybe she'd like to join us?

Now, off to enjoy the moment while it lasts ...
 

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Physically, my wife seems to be adjusting to diabetes well. (She was diagnosed with type 1 in early January.) She sometimes experiences highs (200-250 or so) and lows (65-70 or so) although her blood sugar control seems to be quite good most of the time. Not being a diabetic myself, I don’t actually know how she might be feeling physically, but it does seem that she suffers much more emotionally than physically. She often seems frustrated and dispirited with life as a diabetic. From my perspective, her first week as a diabetic wasn’t too emotionally difficult for her; insulin made her feel much better than she did before she was diagnosed. After that, it seemed to get emotionally difficult, with some days much worse than others. Then, a couple weeks later, she seemed to be quite a lot happier. She seemed to have settled into life as a diabetic. But in the last few weeks, she seems to me to be frustrated and sad most of the time. By that, I don’t mean truly depressed, but sort of melancholy. Also, she seems to have a harder time sleeping through the night and also staying awake through the evening until bedtime; she often has to set her alarm to wake up at 10PM for her Lantus (basal insulin).

Her reasons for frustration are probably normal for new diabetics. She is often disappointed by family and friends who are not adequately supportive, especially with dietary considerations when choosing where to eat or what food to bring. Her own parents have been absolutely wonderful, but no matter how supportive my family and our church friends want to be, I don’t get a sense that any of them want to go the extra mile for her and they sometimes say things that are unwittingly insensitive. More generally, my wife misses the convenience and freedom of being a non-diabetic---being able to eat not just what she wants but also when she wants, not having to spend over an hour each day testing and injecting, not having to worry how some activity will affect her blood sugar. She also does not like the constant abuse her fingers have to take to tests, which, among other things, makes piano playing less enjoyable for her. (She’s built up calluses but that doesn’t keep her fingers from feeling sore, especially since she needs to use a higher setting to get blood from her fingers.)

Anyway, I was wondering how long it takes to emotionally adjust to life as a diabetic. Does there come a point where you stop feeling frustrated with the diabetic routine and rules and just accept it? Does there come a time when diabetes is no longer the focus of your life, where even though you still carry out your daily routine, diabetes is no longer the primary determinant of how you feel emotionally? Can you get to the point where you have a good day or a bad day without it having anything to do with diabetes? If so, how long does it take? I’m interested to hear both what type 1s and type 2s have to say although the type 1 experience is of course more relevant to my wife and me.
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Hi there,

I can absolutely relate to what your wife is going through. If you go back and read some of my posts, you can see how much I was freaking out over my diagnosis. I was dx'ed a week ago Friday (4/1) and not knowing anything at all about diabetes, my first thought was 'I'm gonna die'. I'm a hypochondriac to begin with, so being told I had a lifelong disease to deal with was enough to make me start planning my funeral. And I get what you mean about family. Mine is super NON-supportive. When I called my "mother" - or egg donor, as I call her - to tell her I had diabetes, she said, and I quote, "Well, that's your own fault, you eat too much junk. Hey, I have a headache, what should I take?" Classic narcissist. And when I told my brother that I had diabetes and I had a ton of food to get rid of (I had just dropped 200 bucks at the grocery store the day before the dx), all he said was, 'What kind of stuff do you have?' Not, 'I'm sorry you have diabetes'. And to top it off, I'm not invited to Easter dinner because "oh, we don't know what you can eat". I'm choosing to believe I had to have been switched at birth because I don't know how a nice person like myself got stuck with these human leftovers. So, basically, in one day, I gained a disease and lost a family - I had to cut them out of my life completely, and I'm left to deal with this all on my own.

I rode an emotional roller coaster this entire past week, worrying myself silly, crying over numbers that were too high (or so I thought) but having the forum here and the very patient members supporting me and guiding me through testing and reading numbers, things have gotten so much better. Instead of focusing on the negative parts of diabetes, I'm looking at it as a blessing because now I'm thankful for any day I wake up, whereas before I didn't care much. Getting diagnosed was the kick in the butt I needed to get healthy because I wouldn't have done it on my own. And I've already dropped a few pounds in a week's time and brought my BGL down from 260 to a career-high tonight of 107. Every time I see the number go down, I get really proud of myself and today, after a three year depression, I woke up for the first time in a happy mood. And yes, for me, anyway, I guess because it's new, diabetes is on my mind every second of the day. I don't know if that will fade, I think it's different for everyone. For me, I have to think about it because if I don't I might get lazy and not eat right or exercise like I should.

Just let your wife know that you're there for her, and so are we here in the forum, and have her focus on the positives instead of the negatives. What she's feeling is normal. And give yourself a pat on the back too for being such a concerned husband - good for you. And her. :)

Peace

Rosie
 

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bigrosiegreenbaum said:
And I've already dropped a few pounds in a week's time and brought my BGL down from 260 to a career-high tonight of 107. Every time I see the number go down, I get really proud of myself and today, after a three year depression, I woke up for the first time in a happy mood.
Way to go Rosie!!!!!
 

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Rosie ... Yer doin' great!!!

:whoo:
 

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Physically, my wife seems to be adjusting to diabetes well. (She was diagnosed with type 1 in early January.) She sometimes experiences highs (200-250 or so) and lows (65-70 or so) although her blood sugar control seems to be quite good most of the time. Not being a diabetic myself, I don’t actually know how she might be feeling physically, but it does seem that she suffers much more emotionally than physically. She often seems frustrated and dispirited with life as a diabetic. From my perspective, her first week as a diabetic wasn’t too emotionally difficult for her; insulin made her feel much better than she did before she was diagnosed. After that, it seemed to get emotionally difficult, with some days much worse than others. Then, a couple weeks later, she seemed to be quite a lot happier. She seemed to have settled into life as a diabetic. But in the last few weeks, she seems to me to be frustrated and sad most of the time. By that, I don’t mean truly depressed, but sort of melancholy. Also, she seems to have a harder time sleeping through the night and also staying awake through the evening until bedtime; she often has to set her alarm to wake up at 10PM for her Lantus (basal insulin).

Her reasons for frustration are probably normal for new diabetics. She is often disappointed by family and friends who are not adequately supportive, especially with dietary considerations when choosing where to eat or what food to bring. Her own parents have been absolutely wonderful, but no matter how supportive my family and our church friends want to be, I don’t get a sense that any of them want to go the extra mile for her and they sometimes say things that are unwittingly insensitive. More generally, my wife misses the convenience and freedom of being a non-diabetic---being able to eat not just what she wants but also when she wants, not having to spend over an hour each day testing and injecting, not having to worry how some activity will affect her blood sugar. She also does not like the constant abuse her fingers have to take to tests, which, among other things, makes piano playing less enjoyable for her. (She’s built up calluses but that doesn’t keep her fingers from feeling sore, especially since she needs to use a higher setting to get blood from her fingers.)

Anyway, I was wondering how long it takes to emotionally adjust to life as a diabetic. Does there come a point where you stop feeling frustrated with the diabetic routine and rules and just accept it? Does there come a time when diabetes is no longer the focus of your life, where even though you still carry out your daily routine, diabetes is no longer the primary determinant of how you feel emotionally? Can you get to the point where you have a good day or a bad day without it having anything to do with diabetes? If so, how long does it take? I’m interested to hear both what type 1s and type 2s have to say although the type 1 experience is of course more relevant to my wife and me.
I am type 2 and I don't think it is any easier to take care of. I test 5-8 times per day. I take up to 6 shots per day and I have trouble with hypo unawareness. Now I feel more comfortable being a diabetic but I forget what it was like to just eat like you want. I feel like a pin cushion all the time. I will never feel at home when diabetes has taken up camp in my body. I need to get over it, diabetes never goes away, so onward with life.:)
 

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Hi there,

I can absolutely relate to what your wife is going through. If you go back and read some of my posts, you can see how much I was freaking out over my diagnosis. I was dx'ed a week ago Friday (4/1) and not knowing anything at all about diabetes, my first thought was 'I'm gonna die'. I'm a hypochondriac to begin with, so being told I had a lifelong disease to deal with was enough to make me start planning my funeral. And I get what you mean about family. Mine is super NON-supportive. When I called my "mother" - or egg donor, as I call her - to tell her I had diabetes, she said, and I quote, "Well, that's your own fault, you eat too much junk. Hey, I have a headache, what should I take?" Classic narcissist. And when I told my brother that I had diabetes and I had a ton of food to get rid of (I had just dropped 200 bucks at the grocery store the day before the dx), all he said was, 'What kind of stuff do you have?' Not, 'I'm sorry you have diabetes'. And to top it off, I'm not invited to Easter dinner because "oh, we don't know what you can eat". I'm choosing to believe I had to have been switched at birth because I don't know how a nice person like myself got stuck with these human leftovers. So, basically, in one day, I gained a disease and lost a family - I had to cut them out of my life completely, and I'm left to deal with this all on my own.

I rode an emotional roller coaster this entire past week, worrying myself silly, crying over numbers that were too high (or so I thought) but having the forum here and the very patient members supporting me and guiding me through testing and reading numbers, things have gotten so much better. Instead of focusing on the negative parts of diabetes, I'm looking at it as a blessing because now I'm thankful for any day I wake up, whereas before I didn't care much. Getting diagnosed was the kick in the butt I needed to get healthy because I wouldn't have done it on my own. And I've already dropped a few pounds in a week's time and brought my BGL down from 260 to a career-high tonight of 107. Every time I see the number go down, I get really proud of myself and today, after a three year depression, I woke up for the first time in a happy mood. And yes, for me, anyway, I guess because it's new, diabetes is on my mind every second of the day. I don't know if that will fade, I think it's different for everyone. For me, I have to think about it because if I don't I might get lazy and not eat right or exercise like I should.

Just let your wife know that you're there for her, and so are we here in the forum, and have her focus on the positives instead of the negatives. What she's feeling is normal. And give yourself a pat on the back too for being such a concerned husband - good for you. And her. :)

Peace

Rosie
Rosie, I know how it is to have a non-supportive family. It is still hard to think what I lost because of diabetes, but what can we do? Just stick around here, at least there are people here that understand.
 
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@McGruff.... your wife is blessed with good support from you! I've had diabetes since 1998 and the annoying bit for me is that diabetes always reminds me it's there... hate that! Especially for me in the last few years I've been quite sick and controlling diabetes when sick is even harder than usual. It is a mind over matter thing... but I find that sometimes you are really strong and other times you need support. I've always been quite independant and I'm not keen on asking for help when I need it... but diabetes has made me feel more vulnerable really, and I've had to seek help from others. I understand about what others say too... because there's so many myths floating about. The worst thing I find is when someone asks "hey can you eat that?". The best thing to do is educate people around your wife about her condition... this is a must if they are around her regularly. I'm still trying to educate people around me. A good aspect is that you certainly learn a lot about what's healthy and what's not. Keep us posted on how your wife is doing... encourage her to join us... she may find it's a good support too. :)
@Rosie - you're doing great! It's certainly hard to take it all in at first and you go through so many emotions. I reckon you need to educate your family too... not unless you have other reasons to cut them out of your life? But really I think it's ignorance on their part, and they need to listen to you and they may learn things for themselves... in fact they may be able to help if they put their minds to it. :D
 

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I don't think I'll ever get used to it. I have good days but I have the bad ones too, physically and mentally. Days when I am just down and out because of the situation, days when I feel like throwing a tantrum and say "I'm not sticking myself one more time" or "I'm gonna eat what I want dang it" and days I just feel like crap. Comes with the territory I'm afraid. I think the important thing is how we manage those days and get through them. It comes it goes.
As others have said she and you will find a wealth of support and information here. It's good to have a place to vent with so many who really understand just how you're feeling or what's frightening you.
One thing that really bothers me, like your wife, is how non-diabetics (including some Dr. types) just don't understand what we can go through on a daily basis. In time she'll learn how to manage those situations and they won't be such a big deal anymore.
She'll be fine with your love and support. An understanding word or gentle touch can go a long way when a disease forces you to live a way you're not accustomed to.

Congrats! Rosie!
 

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I just keep telling myself that plenty of people have worse medical conditions than mine (I know - the reverse can also be said, but it isn't helpful advice.)

A couple of months ago, my pacemaker lead broke & I didn't know it. It's monitored by phone every 3 months & in the cardio office once a year. Two days before I was scheduled for home monitoring, I dropped over unconscious because my heart stopped. This was not the first time - it had happened six years ago before I had my first pacemaker implanted. But, I had the false sense of security that 1) I have a pacemaker now; 2) it's monitored regularly; 3) since I only use it about 7% of the time, the battery life should be at least ten years rather than the seven or so that is the average. What I didn't take into consideration was a pacemaker lead breaking, which it did.

As soon as my cardio doc recognized the problem, he sent me directly to the hospital - do not pass go, do not collect $200, as they say. A new pacer and lead was implanted the following morning. Then, when all should have been well again, the lead "dropped" out of position, as revealed by a chest x-ray the following morning when I was preparing to be discharged. Turned out I had to go through the entire procedure again to swap out the lead & get it into the correct position for a good connection. The first time, I did great; the second time, I had some deep tissue bruising & it really HURT! (These procedures are done under a local so the heart is reacting normally & the pacer can be tested.)

Needless to say, it was a wake-up call.

So, when I whine to myself about D, I tend to follow it up with a quick reminder that my heart is still beating. When it's time for me to go, it will stop, & not until then.

And, truthfully, I am healthy and active and limited in only small, unimportant ways - chiefly in my way of eating & in a few very select exercises that I cannot do because they could cause my pacer or lead to fail again.

So, despite the annoyance & frustration of D, I am determined to keep the positive outlook I've always had. There is a strong thread of depression in my family & I refuse to fall prey to it!!

Hang on, everyone, we can do this!
 

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It seems like I have been diabetic for so long that it is just, "me"... it is part of who I am. So, I guess there must of been a time where I "accepted" it. Sure, I have those days where I think it's so unfair that there is no reason for me to even send in an audition tape for "Survivor", lol... and when I read yet another article about the dangers of artifical sweetners, I think to myself..."can't I at least have my coke zero!!!" AHHHH!!!! But honestly, I have never spent a lot of time sitting around being upset about it. After the shock of being diagnosed wore off, I got busy with life, and being diabetic was just part of my life. I've had my fair share of tragedy in my life; my mom died when I was 20, diabetic at 22, dad died when I was 23, at 26 my middle child was a stillborn (this was the hardest one), husband on drugs, daughter has a tumor in one leg, son is nearly blind in one eye... should I go on... lol.... well yes I should, go on living that is! I believe in two things... God never gives you more than you can handle, and you do what you've gotta do to survive (see I'd be perfect for Survivor :) ). Sorry, I might of climb up on my soapbox a little there.
 

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Well...I have been diabetic since 1980. I still have to think about it everyday simply because I have to take care of my insulin and testing. But, honestly, you do sort of get used to it. I have been diabetic for more of my life than not, so it is just sort of a normal thing for me. So do I have days when I would love to have a big plate of some sort of pasta and a nice big piece of chocolate cake? You betcha...but I dont wanna deal with trying to get my blood sugar back in control so I dont :) I have learned that I dont have to give up everything forever. I think that makes it a little easier. If I want pasta, I have it...I just dont eat enough of it for three people and I dont eat any other carbs with that meal. If I absolutely am in the mood for a little dessert of some sort I have it..I just plan for it. My meal will be pretty much no carb and I will "spend" my carbs on that small dessert. I think once people sort of settle in and realize that life truly isnt over that they sort of accept it better.
 
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