Please excuse this ramble but I feel as though I have to get this off my chest somehow or I will explode.
I’m worried about my dog. He’s an 11 yr. old diabetic basenji. We went through some tough times last year as he lost his diabetic “sister” (and soul mate) then was diagnosed with diabetes himself. He went blind less than a month later and wasn’t adjusting well. We had cataract surgery for him and he eventually ended up losing one eye due to infection. It is barely a year later and he now has a severe fungal infection in his nose. The anti-fungal meds and the infection are making it very difficult for him to eat. I don’t know if he’s getting enough of the medication or the right amounts of insulin and food. It’s enough to make me pull my hair out.
The stress of his condition has caused another stressor…a financial one. Everyone is having a tough time because of the economy. Add that factor to an already stressed budget, no cost of living increases in salary for nearly five years, and over $5000 in vet bills over the last year. In addition, I’ve had two surgeries in the past two months and was also diagnosed with diabetes. Our washing machine died and taxes are due. And it’s the holiday season…how do I buy gifts? My dog’s anti-fungal medication was originally priced at well over $10 a pill ($300 a month, and he’ll need to be on this med for several months) but luckily we found an online discount drug card that saved us more than 60%.
I applied for a part-time holiday retail job. My interview is scheduled for December 10. I don’t know how long holiday retail jobs last, but I’m thinking it’s only a few weeks. That’s fine, at least for a few weeks, I can earn a little extra cash.
I can’t tell anyone about my diabetes…for a lot of reasons. My mother is struggling with the disease herself and has other mental issues to boot. I really can’t handle her disappointment in me. Yes, we both have type 2 and while I understand that there are other factors at work here, the bottom line is we didn’t eat and exercise for our health and ended up making a “bad” situation worse and “uncontrollable”. And there are so many changes we have to make to make things controllable. It’s a lot to swallow (no pun intended).
Anyway, I don’t tell most of my friends about the diabetes for much the same reason. I am ashamed. That’s my issue and I need to do what I can to get this beast under control and I’m trying but I’m struggling.
I’ve been trying to exercise more but it’s inconsistent. I’ve been trying to eat better but it is also inconsistent. My life feels like one big inconsistent and unpredictable MESS!
My husband is my best friend and I am so thankful to have him…but there are limits to his understanding, you know? There are limits to how he can help. He feels inadequate sometimes and I am simply running out of energy to keep encouraging him.
Just a few minutes ago he rambled incessantly about the class he is taking. I'm proud of him being selected for this class, but it does not interest me and is the last thing I have time to worry about. I just wanted him to shut up. I nearly screamed for him to STOP! My mind won't stop...
So, health issues for me and my dog, financial issues that feel like they have no end. I’m overwhelmed at home and at work and it feels like I’m fighting a losing battle. It’s not a matter of IF I drown/fail…it’s a matter of when.
Oh God…that’s depressing. I don’t want to be depressing. I want to be happy. I just don’t know how to get there. I can do it if I just ignore everything else, but eventually I can't won’t be able to ignore it anymore and then the stress starts all over again.
I’m worried about my dog. He’s an 11 yr. old diabetic basenji. We went through some tough times last year as he lost his diabetic “sister” (and soul mate) then was diagnosed with diabetes himself. He went blind less than a month later and wasn’t adjusting well. We had cataract surgery for him and he eventually ended up losing one eye due to infection. It is barely a year later and he now has a severe fungal infection in his nose. The anti-fungal meds and the infection are making it very difficult for him to eat. I don’t know if he’s getting enough of the medication or the right amounts of insulin and food. It’s enough to make me pull my hair out.
The stress of his condition has caused another stressor…a financial one. Everyone is having a tough time because of the economy. Add that factor to an already stressed budget, no cost of living increases in salary for nearly five years, and over $5000 in vet bills over the last year. In addition, I’ve had two surgeries in the past two months and was also diagnosed with diabetes. Our washing machine died and taxes are due. And it’s the holiday season…how do I buy gifts? My dog’s anti-fungal medication was originally priced at well over $10 a pill ($300 a month, and he’ll need to be on this med for several months) but luckily we found an online discount drug card that saved us more than 60%.
I applied for a part-time holiday retail job. My interview is scheduled for December 10. I don’t know how long holiday retail jobs last, but I’m thinking it’s only a few weeks. That’s fine, at least for a few weeks, I can earn a little extra cash.
I can’t tell anyone about my diabetes…for a lot of reasons. My mother is struggling with the disease herself and has other mental issues to boot. I really can’t handle her disappointment in me. Yes, we both have type 2 and while I understand that there are other factors at work here, the bottom line is we didn’t eat and exercise for our health and ended up making a “bad” situation worse and “uncontrollable”. And there are so many changes we have to make to make things controllable. It’s a lot to swallow (no pun intended).
Anyway, I don’t tell most of my friends about the diabetes for much the same reason. I am ashamed. That’s my issue and I need to do what I can to get this beast under control and I’m trying but I’m struggling.
I’ve been trying to exercise more but it’s inconsistent. I’ve been trying to eat better but it is also inconsistent. My life feels like one big inconsistent and unpredictable MESS!
My husband is my best friend and I am so thankful to have him…but there are limits to his understanding, you know? There are limits to how he can help. He feels inadequate sometimes and I am simply running out of energy to keep encouraging him.
Just a few minutes ago he rambled incessantly about the class he is taking. I'm proud of him being selected for this class, but it does not interest me and is the last thing I have time to worry about. I just wanted him to shut up. I nearly screamed for him to STOP! My mind won't stop...
So, health issues for me and my dog, financial issues that feel like they have no end. I’m overwhelmed at home and at work and it feels like I’m fighting a losing battle. It’s not a matter of IF I drown/fail…it’s a matter of when.
Oh God…that’s depressing. I don’t want to be depressing. I want to be happy. I just don’t know how to get there. I can do it if I just ignore everything else, but eventually I can't won’t be able to ignore it anymore and then the stress starts all over again.