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Hey everyone. I'm really struggling with my type 1 diabetes. I was diagnosed at 25YO in Mar '10 w/ an A1C of 8.4%. My most recent A1C was over 14% a few weeks ago. I'm sick all the time, in pain, I'm tired, and my attitude/motivation sucks, to be blatantly honest. I'm sick of taking insulin, I'm sick of counting carbs and adjusting for fat and caffeine, I'm tired of checking my blood sugar, I'm sick of not getting the results I need no matter how perfectly I manage it, I don't want to be on the phone with the doctors every single day... how do I get over this hump? I know it could be worse, but this just seems really bad and I know I can't be the only one who gets burned out on diabetes. I don't even want to eat because every time I do, I spike over 500. I don't want to take my insulin because I'm fearful of lows (I'm home by myself all day every day with 2 young children) - I've had some pretty scary experiences with both highs and lows. My diabetes team has practically doubled my insulin because it wasn't working, and I know it takes tweaking, but I just don't feel the dedication to make it work... my friends and family are starting to get really worried and that's making me worry but my energy and motivation is just gone. I need help, I've been seeing a therapist since April but we've gotten nowhere so I've stopped seeing him (I'm going to find a new therapist). I just am so disheartened, this is so hard :confused: My doctors know my struggles, they think I'm trying to hurt myself, I'm not. I just don't want to do this anymore. How do I get through it???

Scared & lost,
Shannon
 

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You have choices to make, either you do all the work and you are right it is not easy or you can choose to ignore it and die. I don't think death is a good choice since you have young children so pull your head out and get bussy doing what you should be doing. Dont be affraid of lows they are qite treatable. If you keep going like you are someone will find you dead from ketoacidosis. So you choose no one else can do this for you.
 

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Shannon, I started my diabetes care in 1945 and have now been type 1 for 65 years. I am very healthy because I have AWAYS taken good care of myself. I don't ever remember my attitude being like yours. I had a tremendous desire to live long, and healthy! I am now 71 and I do not intend to stop now.

It is so much easier to take care of your diabetes now, than it was in my early years. You have better insulins, diabetes specialists, so many resources about diabetes information, glucose meters, insulin pumps, and other modern day conveniences. I had none of that for many years, until I was in my 40's. I really cannot understand why anyone would neglect their diabetes care, and possibly develop terrible problems with eyes and kidneys, and experience many other potential complications.

If you need counseling, please do so, so you can turn this around and live a long, healthy life like so many type 1 diabetics have done. Good luck to you!

Richard
 

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Hey everyone. I'm really struggling with my type 1 diabetes. I was diagnosed at 25YO in Mar '10 w/ an A1C of 8.4%. My most recent A1C was over 14% a few weeks ago. I'm sick all the time, in pain, I'm tired, and my attitude/motivation sucks, to be blatantly honest. I'm sick of taking insulin, I'm sick of counting carbs and adjusting for fat and caffeine, I'm tired of checking my blood sugar, I'm sick of not getting the results I need no matter how perfectly I manage it, I don't want to be on the phone with the doctors every single day... how do I get over this hump? I know it could be worse, but this just seems really bad and I know I can't be the only one who gets burned out on diabetes. I don't even want to eat because every time I do, I spike over 500. I don't want to take my insulin because I'm fearful of lows (I'm home by myself all day every day with 2 young children) - I've had some pretty scary experiences with both highs and lows. My diabetes team has practically doubled my insulin because it wasn't working, and I know it takes tweaking, but I just don't feel the dedication to make it work... my friends and family are starting to get really worried and that's making me worry but my energy and motivation is just gone. I need help, I've been seeing a therapist since April but we've gotten nowhere so I've stopped seeing him (I'm going to find a new therapist). I just am so disheartened, this is so hard :confused: My doctors know my struggles, they think I'm trying to hurt myself, I'm not. I just don't want to do this anymore. How do I get through it???

Scared & lost,
Shannon
sure sounds like you are hurting yourself by not taking care of yourself. You mentioned two young children at home. if thats not motoivation enough, im not sure what would be.

get your act together kiddo, theres no other choice
 

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Shannon,

Your children don't have a choice as to whether their Mother will take care of her diabetes......but you do. No.....it is not easy and sometimes life is not fair. I think you can do what is necessary to make a difference in your life. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for those precious children you brought into this world.
 

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I feel you!

Shannon,
listen to what all of the ones posting are saying, and also find a new counselor quick.

I am not a diabetic, I have Reactive Hypoglycemia, I fight lows all of the time. I was taken out of work in January on disability and have found that even with constant diligent caring for my diet and blood glucose I still drop constantly. I also stay in counseling. Therapist had me stop telling people about stopping work from disability and now I tell people I "retired" in January. The point was to remove the negative approach. All of that is to say "my job" is to monitor, control and keep a watch on my blood glucose 24/7, and there are times I wonder how I am going to do this until I die. Then I almost die (on the floor, paramedics over me, knowing they are lost because I can hear them trying to care for me like I am a diabetic,knowing my family is going to be scared to death when they get a call to come to the house "again"), at those moment I know even though something is out of whack and I am down for the moment, it is rare that I have to experience this fear because I work so hard at taking care of myself. I do not have the fear of organ,eye or limb loss that many of you are experiencing, my death will be quick. So I follow my diet, keep checking myself, constantly evaluating my behavior, gate, speech, hunger, and even with all of the work still cannot tell I am in the 30's sometimes.

Keep trying, don't stop, you are important, you are someones mother, maybe partner, daughter and friend.

Another idea is to maybe start a "Meet Up" group in your area for young mothers who are struggling with their diabetes. If you are not familiar with meet up groups , goggle it and look in your area, they are easy to start and great way to get personal support.

Beverly
 

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Balance

Hey everyone. I'm really struggling with my type 1 diabetes. I was diagnosed at 25YO in Mar '10 w/ an A1C of 8.4%. My most recent A1C was over 14% a few weeks ago. I'm sick all the time, in pain, I'm tired, and my attitude/motivation sucks, to be blatantly honest. I'm sick of taking insulin, I'm sick of counting carbs and adjusting for fat and caffeine, I'm tired of checking my blood sugar, I'm sick of not getting the results I need no matter how perfectly I manage it, I don't want to be on the phone with the doctors every single day... how do I get over this hump? I know it could be worse, but this just seems really bad and I know I can't be the only one who gets burned out on diabetes. I don't even want to eat because every time I do, I spike over 500. I don't want to take my insulin because I'm fearful of lows (I'm home by myself all day every day with 2 young children) - I've had some pretty scary experiences with both highs and lows. My diabetes team has practically doubled my insulin because it wasn't working, and I know it takes tweaking, but I just don't feel the dedication to make it work... my friends and family are starting to get really worried and that's making me worry but my energy and motivation is just gone. I need help, I've been seeing a therapist since April but we've gotten nowhere so I've stopped seeing him (I'm going to find a new therapist). I just am so disheartened, this is so hard :confused: My doctors know my struggles, they think I'm trying to hurt myself, I'm not. I just don't want to do this anymore. How do I get through it???

Scared & lost,
Shannon
As I read your thread I can feel what you are going through. I was in denial for 12 years. I finally broke free and feel great. enough about me this is about you.
It is good that you are talking to your doctors but it is more Important that you pay attention to your life style. As a diabetic their always needs to be a balance. Every day you should do a form of exercise, eat a balanced diet meaning mainly live foods found in the produce section. these packaged foods now adays have so much crap in them that even when you do read how many carbs they have can react differently on your body. some peak fast some peak hours later. Lastly make sure you reward yourself with something at the end of each day when you know you made your best efforts to balance your health.
please feel free to ask me anything concerning your diabetes.
Idk anything about your lifestyle now but you always have my 2cents.
ps
get rid of any junk food you may have in the house it always helps when you have those cravings but nothing is there to binge on.
I currently binge on almonds :D
hope this helps
 
B

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Reaching out here was a good thing. It shows you haven't given up, completely. Part of you is fed up with it all...and part of you knows that being fed up gets you nowhere. I'll speak to the rational side of you since the irrational side is, well, irrational.

You seem mentally overwhelmed. From what I read into this I feel that you have underlying problems that are at you every day...and this damn diabetes ain't helping the situation. Everyday problems can overwhelm a healthy 25-year-old woman...let alone one with a disease that just won't get in line. I get that. What I don't get is why your diabetes is out of control. After 6 months you should be cruising. There's a period of adjustment, yes, but 6 months is too long, especially since you're doing worse and you think it's the diabetes's fault. It's not.

Your doctors and heath care providers should be on this like a bum on a baloney sandwich. Either they're incompetent or you're not part of the team. By that I mean letting them know when stuff starts headin' south, your newest A1c, for instance. You should have seen that coming in your daily blood glucose meter readings. Getting those readings down since last March should have been priority number one. Instead, it seems, you've put other things first and it's come back to bite you in the ass.

Yeah, I know, diabetes can be a tough row to hoe...but you don't have a choice. C'mon, say that with me..."I don't have a choice!"

How 'bout this: Let's chalk up everything that's gone down since March, with no finger pointing, as a period of learning what not to do and focus on a new era of what you are going to do. Fair enough? This involves your doctors and you...and if you want advice or comments on turning a new leaf, by all means, come here and talk about it.

What your doctors, as well as us (your confidants and fellow diabetics) could use is your full cooperation from today forward. Tell them everything you've told us. Tell us everything they tell you and we'll get this under better management, I promise!!

You can start here by posting everything about your diabetes regimen. Any medications besides insulin therapy you've been prescribed and if you're taking them; what you eat; how much; when; when you test; when you do insulin; what kind you do; how much you do; your meter readings when you test. What symptoms you feel when you say you're sick. At this point in time "information" is your best tool against reversing this thing. Your second-best tool is "want". You have to find a new "want" to fire this whole thing off.

Coming here was a good start...but to go any further you have to get mad. You have to get real mad and bring up a little hate for what this disease is doing to you and your family. Tell me, would you get mad if something or someone tried to take something away from your kids? Damn right you would! Well, get mad at diabetes because if you don't get this under control...your kids aren't going to have a mother for very long. And you'll go a piece at a time...not like a heart attack where you fall to the ground and die. It's ugly...real ugly.

Feel motivated now! :rolleyes:
 

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... I'm sick all the time, in pain, I'm tired, and my attitude/motivation sucks, to be blatantly honest. I'm sick of taking insulin, I'm sick of counting carbs and adjusting for fat and caffeine, I'm tired of checking my blood sugar, I'm sick of not getting the results I need no matter how perfectly I manage it, I don't want to be on the phone with the doctors every single day...

Scared & lost,
Shannon
Oh, Shannon, Honey! I hear you! I can relate to how you're feeling.

A couple of months ago I passed the window of a well known bakery and saw all those gorgeous cakes, pies, tarts, pastries, eclaires, breads, bagels, etc, and I said to myself "well, I can't have ANY of those things I love for the rest of my life." and guess what?!? - I, grown middle aged man, started to get teary eyed. When I got home I actually cried like a baby!

:Cry:

But we must take care of ourselves!

Life and good health is worth the hard work, the dedication, and the sacrifices we have to make.
 

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it sure is hard work.

nobody told me there'd be days like these
 

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Shannon, I'm a little late on this reply...hope you're still checking in here. I wanted to say that I can relate to some of what you were saying. I lived in denial for a while after my diagnosis at age 26 (partly due to misdiagnosis). I wouldn't take my insulin very often either and partly because I was fearful of lows (because they were frequent). I, too, stay at home w/ 3 small children and the thought of passing out at home due to a hypo was scary. Eventually, I got on a pump and cgms and that helped TREMENDOUSLY both with taking my insulin consistently as well as with avoiding lows...the cgms alarms you when you're going too low so you can correct BEFORE there's a problem. This may be a practical, physical step you can take towards gaining better control. As for the mental aspects, I would also recommend some sort of therapy or support group...I got through a lot of mental roadblocks w/ the help of forums.
Hang in there and let us know how you're doing!

Rachel
 

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Hello Ajaxx, welcome to Diabetes Forum! We cannot answer your question without more info. What type of diabetes do you have? How long have you been a diabetic. Do you use insulin, or do you manage your diabetes with diet, exercise and maybe medicines like Metformin? Do you count carbs and use that info as part of your routine? the more you tell us about your diabetes, the more suggestions we can make. Ask all the questions you want, we are here to help!

Richard
 

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Ajax, how about going to the 'introduce yourself' and doing a proper introduction. You'll get more help and recognition that way rather than being lost in this thread!

Glad to meet you and hope you will do as Richard says,
 
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