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I am a t1, and last November I gave birth to one of the greatest baby girls in the world :)

I have had SO MANY people ask me, "So what is her risk for getting diabetes too?" Then they will look at me like I have no right to have a child because she could someday get diabetes and how could I risk passing such a horrible thing on to her....Frustrating, yes sireee...

I wish there was some way to help them understand that this condition sucks big time yes, but it is managable and there are worse things to have! But I am to the point now where I don't know what to say to people anymore when they ask about her risk. I try to tell them that if she gets it, she gets it. I know how to teach her to take care of it so she'll be fine if she gets it. Then they look at me like I don't care if I pass this on to my daughter...I can't seem to get anywhere with people!

Does anyone else have these kinds of experiences, and if so, what do you say? Because I am out of explanations!
 

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What makes them think that it is a for sure thing that she will get it. Last I knew there was no hard facts about it being genetics. And if it was then you have to consider her fathers genes as well as her mothers. I would say her chance is just like any other child born and I think thats about a 1% chance.
 

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The risk that a type 1 mother will pass type 1 diabetes onto her child is 4%. The risk that a type 1 father will pass type 1 diabetes onto his child is 7%. There are also elevated risks for other conditions genetically linked to the complex of genes that pre-dispose people to develop type 1 diabetes, including an elevated risk for type 2 diabetes and schizophrenia.

When Michael Jackson dangled his young child over the balcony of a Berlin hotel, people were outraged over the unnecessary risk of injury he had imposed on the child, even though the child was lucky enough to be unhurt. Obviously imposing even the risk of a severe and incurable illness on a child means subjecting that child to a kind of harm, even if nothing happens because the risk does not manifest as actual illness. That is why I and a number of other type 1 diabetics like me have decided never to have children.
 

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There will always be differences of opinion, and it's a point of personal choice. Nothing is more personal than having children, and whether you do or not is nobody's business but your own and your spouse's. There are way more risk factors involved with family history, age of the mother, and dozens of other things.
 

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What Shanny said.

As mothers, we are judged for every little thing we do. If it's not total strangers, it's friends and family. If we let our child cry to long, or not at all, they judge. If they have a bottle, or if we nurse them in public, they will judge. If the child is chubby they will think we are overfeeding them, and if they are skinny they will think we are starving them.

The choice to have a child is personal. I would never judge anyone for that choice.

As a mother you have to develop a thick skin...there is always someone out there who thinks they know better than you do and who will judge you for the parenting choices you make. You have to just let it all go, don't let it upset you.

My response would be - "Her risk of developing diabetes is "this", however, her risk of NOT developing it is "this." There is no guarantee that she WILL develop it." If they persist, change the subject or excuse yourself. You have probably agonized over the issue enough as it is, you don't need anyone else trying to make you feel badly.

One of my dearest friends has six children...neither her or her husband are diabetic... but her second daughter, when she was 3, was diagnosed with Type 1... none of her other children have it. She had no idea it was even a risk. Sometimes things happen. Your daughter may never develop it, or she might, but you know how to treat it and she won't be any less loved because of it.
 

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Wonderful that you have a new baby Laura. I hope my wife and I have another in a few years.

As far as what to tell people, well I can think of a few choice words but I won't say them here :) I always find when people stick their nose in my business and I know they don't know what they are talking about, I will then ask them a question on the subject. In your case you can say to them, "Tell me what the risk is." If they give you an answer ask them what study those numbers are from. Some people are very clever at lying and will make a study up so you can then ask them to send you the documentation.

Of course my normal response is "It's none of your concern" :D

Kielme, your logic is flawed. My daughter is type 1 and both my wife's and my family do not have a history of type 1 or 2. Both my wife and I were involved in a study to find out if there are any signs of Diabetes and neither of us have any. So in other words even though we are not type 1 there is still a chance, as proved by our daughter, that our offspring will have type 1. At this time everyone has a chance of their offspring developing type 1. So by your logic no one should have children. Lielme, if you want to follow some death cult that is your choice but don't spread your hate around here please.
 

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Okay, first, comparing the hereditary possibility of diabetes to a mother addicted to crack really is just wrong and offensive. A mother addicted to crack has chosen that lifestyle, and while she may be addicted, she chose to try it in the first place. A mother who passes on diabetes has no choice, even if there is no history of it in the past few generations of her family, it is possible to have a child with it.

Genetic disposition or not... EVERY mother has something they "might" pass on to their children.

By your standards, almost no one should reproduce, only those with perfect genes...and then we're getting into eugenics and well, I'm pretty sure most people are appalled about that topic.

Telling a mother she shouldn't have had children is never okay. You're welcome to your beliefs, but obviously lauraelggren was not asking anyone's opinion on whether she should have had children. In fact, I'm pretty sure she was venting about people who believe like you do, at which point you should have closed the thread instead of replying.

I'm sorry, but I can't just sit here and have you tell another woman who is already stressed about this issue that she caused her child harm by giving her life.
 

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I got my diabetes type 1 last year age 45.
No one in my family has diabetes, neither type 1 or type 2.
I have four sons, all grown up. None of them have diabetes.

When I got my diabetes last year the doctors treated me as if they supposed I would burst out in tears or jump from a building.:confused:

I don`t find diabetes to be the end of the world. OK, sometimes it makes me really frustrated and sometimes when I`m really hypo I surely hate the disease, but to tell the truth;
if I could do things all over again, I would still give birth to my sons regardless if there is a chance they could get diabetes from me.
Hey, they can also get into an accident or get other diseases. But thats life, we don`t know our future.
Enjoy your little daughter and IF she once in the future should happen to be diabetic, she have a mum that can teach her all about how to live a super life!
 

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It is obvious to me that nobody knows who will get it and when they will get it. I guess if we knew that information we would know how to control it better. The truth is that chances are just that, chances, there is nothing for sure in life except taxes and death. Maybe you should just ask them how they could have children knowing that they are going to die some day.
 
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