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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Okay I will control myself more in what I post.

My BG readings for what it is worth continued to oscillate between low-90s to 111 for about 5 and a half hours after eating a carb-rich meal (although there was a BBQ meat mixed in as well as mozarella cheese so maybe the protein/fat content slowed down how quickly it entered the system). I walked half a mile and they dropped like a stone before rebounding to 90 6 and a half hours after eating. Something is a little odd, still, my response was dangerous. I saw a nurse practitioner, whose attitude was that all she could do is recommend a healthy diet and told me to get back on the diazepham and try to distract myself with other concerns before the OGTT on Monday. It'll be hard. She thinks I have something called panic disorder, the obsessive testing was as she stated a matter of control.

I should explain something and be more fully open with you... I have this terrible fear of societal collapse in the next 30 years. I fear the future. We are running out of energy. The edifice of out industrial and agricultural economy, as well was world population is based on this energy. As it runs out, those who have disabilities are going to struggle to survive and modern medicine will break down. A new dark age is coming. I would probably die anyway because of my neurological problems (dyspraxia) and psychological ones, but this is an additional worry. To be honest, if I do have diabetes or pre-diabetes the dyspraxia will be a contributing factor. It put me off sport for example (because my eye-hand co-ordination is so bad), and the social ostracisation I've had has led to depressive over-eating.

I want to know if my pancreas is failing. I want to know whether I will develop diabetes. Or whether there is still a chance to reverse the damage done by a year and a half of reckless depressive eating, as well a moderate overweightness since I was 14. 'A single act of carelessness leads to the eternal loss of beauty', as the Chinese proverb goes. Still, I suppose others of a similarly tender age as myself could say much the same, those unfortunate enough to catch HIV or ruin their bodies with drugs.

Can I apologise to you people? You have been very kind to me and yet when I am in a state I tend to talk over others. Everyone has, over the last 15 months, told me, 'you're not diabetic'. By my count... 6 doctors, 7 nurses, my parents, 5-6 friends, you people and also on WebMD.. And yet... the symptomology suggests otherwise to me. I know personally there is something wrong, and the way my anxiety goes overboard on exercise and diet reduction can, I think, falsify some of my testing. Too frequent urination, too frequently does my leg go numb for me not to want 100% assurance. I blame the period when I get very overweight although as memory serves me some symptoms did pre-date it in early 2008. Namely waking up thirsty.

Even more importantly than all this, is... I need to learn how to live. I think I have been a social bubble for too long. I have no real friends I can talk to in real life. I have no social events to go to. Just myself and this internet screen (also a cause of that obesity I daresay). Well, I must rectify that. Get as much out of life whilst I am living. I just need to get the meds to settle my brain. It's hard being 23 and having death on your brain so much.
 

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I really can't comment on your social life. You could join any number of groups, get involved in a religious organization, join a gym, etc. However, if everyone has told you that you aren't diabetic and you don't believe them, live like a diabetic. Eat low carbs. Stay away from bread, rice, pasta, sweets, fruit, etc. and live life that way. It will make you a healthy person even if you aren't diabetic. There is nothing wrong with living this way and no one can tell you to do it otherwise.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I really can't comment on your social life. You could join any number of groups, get involved in a religious organization, join a gym, etc. However, if everyone has told you that you aren't diabetic and you don't believe them, live like a diabetic. Eat low carbs. Stay away from bread, rice, pasta, sweets, fruit, etc. and live life that way. It will make you a healthy person even if you aren't diabetic. There is nothing wrong with living this way and no one can tell you to do it otherwise.
Very true. After the OGTT I will do this.
 

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And, please, stop worrying so much. It is not healthy and will not help you out at all. Listen to the advice of professionals and do what is recommended.
 
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