(((hugs)))
I totally understand the fears. I don't know what I'd do if I lost my husband. He's not diabetic - yet - but he is pre-diabetic and his grandfather was diabetic. Mine was hereditary as well, I am the genetic clone of my grandmother...I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism when I was 10, and insulin resistance made itself apparent when I was in my teens, and a skinny ballet dancer...but it's possible I was always insulin resistant to a degree. I worry for my children, since it's on both sides. I know my middle son favors me a great deal, and I have both of them checked regularly for thyroid and diabetes.
That's one reason I am so passionate about what we eat...and I know my parents roll their eyes at me for including the children on our meal plan, but it's just not worth the risk. They don't NEED cereal and juice every day. It's a huge responsibility, as wife and mother, and I do my best to make sure they don't feel deprived, while still maintaining a healthy diet. I want to make sure they have the best start in life. Right now they consider berries and a small dollop of homemade whipped cream the best dessert ever! lol But they do get the occasional fast food burger, pizza, or ice cream. We shoot for being good 90% of the time, and splurging 10% - which is what my last nutritionist told me to do - so we splurge every 2 weeks and have a "bad" meal and dessert.
I certainly feel responsible for keeping my husband healthy, and he really enjoys my cooking. He has changed so much since before we were married. Before that, he thought fries were a vegetable! Now he eats spaghetti squash, zucchini, kale, spinach...he tries everything once, and as long as it tastes good, he'll eat it. I make sure I put together healthy lunches for him to take to work, and he loves it (the other people in the office are always jealous!). I make him chili with ground sausage and turkey, some kidney beans, chopped zucchini and kale (added veggies!)...or shrimp stir fry with loads of veggies.
And yes onlymep is right, with the insulin you don't want to cut all carbs right away...but do switch to healthier choices (brown rice, whole grain bread, quinoa). See where he is on the insulin first and then if his numbers are still high, you can reduce the carbs. Eventually you'll want to see about backing down off the insulin as you reduce the carbs and gain greater control...but it can definitely take a while to figure out. Just make sure you have glucose tabs or gel or some juice or regular soda in the house in case he gets low.
We're here for you guys!