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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I just called in a prescription for more Novo pens. It was difficult. Why? I mean besides the cost ... I began thinking, always dangerous.

Well ... my personal attitude, but also societal attitudes and representations of D, and even other diabetics' attitudes. I felt like a bit of a failure ... why?

First of all, we are told we are SUPPOSED TO manage Pre-D with exercise, diet and thus weight loss. I never even had a Pre-D diagnosis. I was dxd in DKA, not like the odds were good that I could "reverse" anything. I clearly had lost some beta cells, through whatever process. Although there is one Paleo blogger I used to follow who claims he has reversed D. He dumped me as a FB friend because I took issue with his truly dogged insistence on emphasizing MEAT all the time. So I quit following him.

So there is another thing: I am a vegetarian ... Maybe I should eat meat? I do think about it: after all, I do eat up to 60 g carb per day. But no: I am a committed vegetarian.

My A1c was good, heck, GREAT, at first ... but over the past two years, it has gradually worsened, despite lowering my carb intake, and maintaining my weight stability. My A1c deteriorated, mildly, despite low-carbing and a meticulous food diary, and exercising, which were all supposed to help.

And I read posts by people who by lowering their carbs and losing weight, are able to add back fruit, and even sugar, without spiking. Not I. I scan ingredient lists for maltodextrin!

Then, we get this message (mostly from the press, really) that this epidemic is all due to overeating and laziness, hence our own faults, and this epidemic is destroying our country, blah blah, wrecking the insurance industry.

Then the people who sell us those highly varied, and often-combined oral meds tell us, why, we might be able to go for YEARS without "having to" use insulin, if we just ask our doctor if their pills are right for us.

Then you add to that, I thought -- and researched -- so hard about my diagnosis and other conditions, worked hard to get tested for GAD antibodies, got the testing, and then got told by one Endo, "You are a Type 2 with antibodies," and by another, "Well you still look like a Type 2, to me."

I never denied that I am mildly overweight (and had been worse before), or that I might still have insulin resistance. In fact, I have stayed on the maximum dose of metformin, a maximum dose of statin, and ramipril, prescribed when I was presumed Type 2. But I feel I am still being perceived as 1) denying I am a T2 (by medical professionals, and some Type 1's) 2) denying I have responsibility for my condition (by society in general) 3) I was even accused of being an "elitist" in setting myself apart and saying I need insulin assistance (by a Type 2!).

Despite all this, I did have the audacity to continue in my insistance upon preventive / protective use of insulin.

So now, 26 mos out from diagnosis, I find myself using basal plus bolus.

Am I a failure? NO! I am getting my way. Only ... my way, my effort, does not seem to be slowing progression of my D.

But after all that research, and thinking, and testing, and eating and testing .... I STILL do not have a clue, what really, really went wrong, inside my body. Maybe that is what bugs me -- no real answers, just clinical, empirical treatment.

I am not despondent over this, just mulling my own attitudes, influences on them ...
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Heh -- just had a call from a puzzled pharmacist. She wanted to know if my prescription for "up to 5 U novorapid per day???" was correct. She was flustered ... Yep, I told her, I have LADA ... I was nice though -- I did not tell her to look it up.
 

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I'm so sorry :( it's not your fault! Blame your body, blame your organs but don't blame yourself. Now if you were cheating and inhaling twinkles by the handful that would be different. But you aren't and have been so kind in your responses to my brief stress moments :) which i am ever so grateful. So no, you are NOT a failure. Some of my family members are 300 lbs and their sugars rarely go above 120. Me? Well you know my story.

Some times crappy things just happen, whether people deserved it or not. It just depends on how they deal with it. I hope tomorrow gets better *hugs*
 

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I feel the same way. Whenever I tell someone I am diabetic they give me this wierd look. I am in great shape and execise like a fanatic. I thought I ate healthy, too. I was a vegetarian, not a commited one but more to manage menapause symptoms. I really think it is totally out of our control. Even if I had avoided carbs all these years I think I would still get D. I do think Type 2's get more blame than type 1's or LADA's. I look at all my overweight friends and they have perfectly normal bg. I ask why me. The politicians in this county think if we eat more fruits and veggies done of us will get D. I think they think if the whole country is skinny there will be no D. Guess what, their crazy. If it is an autoimmune attack or genetic marker that interferes with sigaling all the great diet in the world won't protect you.
 

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I feel the same way. Whenever I tell someone I am diabetic they give me this wierd look. I am in great shape and execise like a fanatic. I thought I ate healthy, too. I was a vegetarian, not a commited one but more to manage menapause symptoms. I really think it is totally out of our control. Even if I had avoided carbs all these years I think I would still get D. I do think Type 2's get more blame than type 1's or LADA's. I look at all my overweight friends and they have perfectly normal bg. I ask why me. The politicians in this county think if we eat more fruits and veggies done of us will get D. I think they think if the whole country is skinny there will be no D. Guess what, their crazy. If it is an autoimmune attack or genetic marker that interferes with sigaling all the great diet in the world won't protect you.
:amen: AND :amen: !!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 · (Edited)
Like anything else we do not understand in the universe, the arrogant (and asymptomatic), prefer to blame the patient than to say they do not know ... I found the autoimmune speculation particularly encouraging. And of course the Vitamin D information. Of course, a bunch of clinicians will just blow it off!

Now as far as pharmacists ... I work with pharmacy students. I am not above alluding to some knowledge, now and then ... ;) I bet that young lady was TO'd when she got off the phone. And I do hope it was enough for her to look it up!
 

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Well, Linda, as you know, atypical folk aren't well understood by the mainstream.

While that makes for some discomfort on our part, think about them - they TRULY don't know what to make of us!

Especially in healthcare, this causes confusion. Healthcare professionals are usually certain they know what they're dealing with in well-known diseases/ conditions. When they run smack into oddballs, it's a bit threatening.

I truly do not know how you manage to maintain your lower-carb/vegetarian status. My younger brother is vegetarian & seems to survive on beans & lentils, both of which can cause me terrible spikes if I eat often or too much at one time. But, ethical concerns are important & you know what matters to you.

Hang in there! At least you are not a normal weight, active, 58 years old woman & on your 2nd pacemaker in addition to being a PWD. Of course, I have no thyroid issues or other health problems that I know of ... no signs of heart disease, either, just weird arrhythmia problems.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
True, you are having some not-fun, aren't you, Barrie?

I really should not have felt like I was conceding some sort of defeat (and now I just upped my Levemir dose, AGAIN!), but ... I feel like I fought something, and now here I am ...

Interesting angle on the docs' perspective -- good point, there. I am sure they have seen people who simply required clinical management, before. But after I had to beg for testing, etc ... I have actually been pretty kind to my docs!
 

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When I went to my CDE for diabetes education I wasn't crazy about her recomendations but she did say something that has stuck with me. She told me never consider going on meds or insulin a failure. It is beyond our control, sometimes. We got dealt a bad hand of cards and must make the best of it. I think the most frustrating thing is even when we do everything right sometimes our bgs don't behave.
 

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I'm one who struggles with blaming herself. I wasn't the worst eater in the world, but surely wasn't the best. Without defensively giving reasons I'll say simply: I'm overweight. I ate processed foods. I didn't exercise enough. I ate healthy food too, but too much of it. Way too much.

When I found out I had diabetes I thought crap, I did this to myself. And I'm still not convinced I didn't. I read Blood Sugar 101, I read the stories of those of you who were in great shape and got it, but there are more people like me, so the bias hasn't been beaten out of me yet. I'll only admit this self-blame here - with friends I strive to educate differently.

It's okay. I'll get over it, either coming around or simply adding it to the ledger of things I have to take personal responsibility for. But it's a helluva way to force me to lose weight and get into shape, I'll say that.
 
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so glad I just read this post.... I've sorta been thinking along the same lines today. In fact I've been extremely irritable for the most part as I've been in pain and such. Marched off to work and stayed for an hour and then had to return home when I suddenly realised I'm not up to it. I'm usually quite hard on myself and expect perfection... I've learnt (and still learning) that that's just not possible. Having to be put on insulin didn't make me feel any better... but it did help me think a bit differently... as in insulin is like a top up rather than having a drug that is working on some organ of your body. I think I'm a bit over drugs... I'm still wondering if they're the cause of my latest diagnosis. I have to be at the docs office in half an hour to get my test results for HbA1c, iron, cholesterol. I have to discuss a few other issues going on too. Boy, I keep him in business I reckon! I better get moving. :D
 
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Ok... got results and I can't complain. I have the best HbA1c result in years, 6.6%. My cholesterol overall level also the best since 2009, 5.2 (and LDL hasn't increased... although could be improved). Yay!
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
good for you, Only! Those sound like pretty nice numbers!

moon, see, I am coming from the same place -- and yet, I also understand, the T2 stigma is so strong in the press, in medicine, that I also I think we always could do MORE, be HEALTHIER, than we were at diagnosis.

Which is why I am now getting up between 4 and 4:30, to run, these days ... urgh! But, it makes me feel like I am doing SOMETHING. Even if there is no apparent effect on my BGs.
 

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That is true, Jeanne - it's up to us & we're up to the challenge!

Meds/insulin, all of the above, just tools in the battle. Just like walking, consciously eating organic and/or locally grown, mostly whole foods.
 
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