Hello my name is Amelia. I have had T1D for going on 25 years. I am a mother of one natural daughter and two step sons. Almost six years ago I married my high school sweetheart finally (We date broke up and then connected and started dating almost eight years ago). I have cared for my diabetes in a half-hearted way on and off for about 15 years. While carrying my daughter I did care for myself. I am here because, I am finally saying I need help. I have struggled the last few years to get back in control to control a disease that is controling me. It is not knowing what to do it is refusal to do those things. I tell myself I will check when I am done because I don't want to bother anyone or freak them out or I have to eat and I have to do XYZ and will get to it once I am done. Done then fall until 11 p.m. The sad truth is that I know these are excuses But I can't seem to make the hard work stick. I can test check and inject for three or four days at a time and then I fall back into that same old bad pattern. I want to feel better than I do now, to have energy, to be around to see my daughter grow and to be a better person than I have these past few years. My A1C is horrid and my marriage is on the rocks all starting and ending with me and my diabetes. I would love to hear how others deal with these issues. Looking for help and support.