[civilian3]

Hello all! As the significant other of a type 1 diabetic, I am trying to learn all I can about the illness and what I can do to help her. She was diagnosed in her childhood and has been living with it for about 25 years now. I care for her very much but sometimes it can be very difficult to deal with. The testing, healthy eating, and all that stuff that goes into trying to manage he sugar level isn't what is hard, but the way she can change personality-wise during highs and lows. When she is high or low, she can get very angry, defensive, antagonistic, and down right mean, in addition to the common physical issues that come with the sharp changes in her sugar level. She literally just got a pump the other day, so we are hoping that will help her maintain more stable levels and in turn a more stable state of mind.

This is just very hard because I love her very much, and when she gets into one of her extreme mood swings, I know she's not in her right mind and it is the illness talking. But still, it can be hurtful and hard to take when she is being aggressive or mean (this usually comes with the highs), and just as hard when she becomes suddenly saddened and intensely depressed because of it (usually with the lows). In both cases, she often has trouble remembering what happened. With the highs she will usually realize what had happened after I tell her what she did/said. With the lows it's like she blacks out mentally and doesn't remember, even when she doesn't physically lose control of her body.

I have been trying to find information to help me understand the psychological effects more, but am having a hard time finding it. I realize that not everyone who has type 1 goes through as intense mood swings, but I know she's not the only one. Anyway, if anyone has been in a similar situation or knows of any literature on the psychological effects of diabetes, I would greatly appreciate it!

I hope I have made sense in my explanations of the situation, if you want more clarity please ask because I would like to be better able to help and understand her.

 

[Hillary]

the pump should help. I hope so because if these highs and lows are regular occurrences that is not good for her future outlook. How often is this happening?

 

[civilian3]

the pump should help. I hope so because if these highs and lows are regular occurrences that is not good for her future outlook. How often is this happening?

It's definitely a frequent occurrence. I've been encouraging her to keep better track of her levels and check them more frequently, but she is very annoyed and often feels defeated by the illness so it is difficult for her to stick to that, ya know?

In the past couple months, there have been at least three or four episodes where she was low enough to where I have almost called emergency services. Most recently I tried waking her up for work but she resisted and mumbled, I thought she was just tired and being stubborn. But then I realized that she wasn't responding to my "I love you"s and that sent me running for her meter and food. I can also tell she is high because she will start contacting me online or through text or phone call basically ranting about all sorts of things. The problem I face is that I am still learning about the disease and how she responds and copes with it.

I know one of the hardest parts for her is feeling like she is a burden on me, so sometimes it is almost worse when she comes out of an episode (either a high or a low) because she will feel guilty for either how she treated me during it, that I had to take care and help her during it, or both.

 

[Janknitz]

The highs and lows could be controlled by tighter carb control in her diet. Is she willing to give that a try after a lifetime of being told she can eat whatever she wants if she just adjusts the insulin accordingly? That would be the most obvious thing, but likely it has NEVER been suggested to her by the professionals.

If she's not willing to do that, has she considered a diabetes service dog? These dogs can sense the changes in BG BEFORE the behavior changes, and it's harder to argue with a dog ;o) That may take some of the pressure off you so you can be a loving spouse instead of a constant caregiver.

You must be under constant pressure, even to the point of having to read and interpret her emails to try to discern what must be happening to her blood sugar. 24/7 is tough. My heart goes out to you.

 

[civilian3]

The highs and lows could be controlled by tighter carb control in her diet. Is she willing to give that a try after a lifetime of being told she can eat whatever she wants if she just adjusts the insulin accordingly? That would be the most obvious thing, but likely it has NEVER been suggested to her by the professionals.

If she's not willing to do that, has she considered a diabetes service dog? These dogs can sense the changes in BG BEFORE the behavior changes, and it's harder to argue with a dog ;o) That may take some of the pressure off you so you can be a loving spouse instead of a constant caregiver.

You must be under constant pressure, even to the point of having to read and interpret her emails to try to discern what must be happening to her blood sugar. 24/7 is tough. My heart goes out to you.

Thanks for the advice! I'm trying to lead by example. I've been eating a diet with little carbs, more protein and fat rich foods prepared at home. Does anyone have any diabetes dietary cookbook recommendations? Maybe something that has some easy recipes for the day to day kind of meals? I figure if I eat in ways that would benefit her, she's more likely to take them up. Like when I quit smoking, she slowly followed suit (thank goodness) because we are together so much it was easier for her to quit since I wasn't doing it anymore.

I didn't know about service dogs, and while that is not financially/logistically feasible right now, that is definitely something to keep in mind moving forward!

 

[grammaB]

Hi civilian3 and welcome.

I have great sympathy for you for what you are dealing with. Hopefully she will follow you into low carb/high fat. First off avoid any cookbooks that are good for Diabetics, they aren't! Then check out our Recipes sub forum right here for lots of good ideas that are good for diabetics! Also check out our Diet and Nutrition sub forum for examples of what we eat day to day. Another good source to read for food examples is The Diet Doctor site. He is a medical doctor in Sweden and gives a very good explanation of the low carb/high fat way of eating. And I promise you the food is so good you or your wife will not feel at all deprived.

 

[civilian3]

Thanks for the links grammaB! I'm definitely going to peruse the recipes and diet subsections! And the diet doctor stuff seems like it can be helpful too, thanks so much! I know a lot of people think you can just "google" the answers for all of these questions, but it's so much more assuring to get feedback directly from people who deal with these issues on a daily basis.

Really appreciate everyone's feedback so far, and I welcome anymore that you may have to offer.

 

[Shalynne]

When Googling for recipes, I avoid anything labeled "diabetic" or "diabetic friendly," because 11 times out of 10 (ummm ... approximately), they are way too high in carbs. Heck, I've found standard, non-diabetic sugary desserts bearing that label!

My favorite search term is "low-carb high-fat," or "LCHF" for short.

Close-ish seconds are "paleo" and "primal," but here I proceed with caution because these are not always low-carb. Fruits and sweeteners such as honey or agave make regular appearances.

You're in a tough situation, no lie. I hope you can find a path that works for both of you. Please keep us posted!

 

[Anthill]

Low Carb High Fat isn't for everyone. You could easily go Hypoglycemic and to anyone who has had a low isn't nice. Also the general public still thinks that Diabetics are not allowed sugar, Sure we can as we can be able to control it. Yes we are Insulin Junkies as we can manage the sugar. There's limitations as each T1 will know what we can handle.

With the foods that we eat you get the idea what the food can do for you, For instance an Orange OK we know that's a reviver for a low and we can use it for energy. It's also fast acting as it's 1 A Liquid as this absorbs to the body Fast!!! 2 This energy will be short lived so it won't stay in the body for long unlike Pasta.

If you have weight to loose, Then LCHF is the way to go.

 

[Shanny]

If one has taken the trouble to transition to LCHF, then the law of small numbers can reduce the amount of insulin required, even for T1 patients, thus eliminating some of the risk of hypos. A flatter more stable curve of blood sugar levels is always preferable to wild swings which happen when carb consumption is higher.

 

[Strawberry]

There is a book called "Using Insulin" by John Walsh that is really helpful in determining the appropriate amount of both basal and bolus insulin. If the insulin to carb ratios are accurate, it should reduce the amount of highs and lows that your friend suffers.

 

[civilian3]

There is a book called "Using Insulin" by John Walsh that is really helpful in determining the appropriate amount of both basal and bolus insulin. If the insulin to carb ratios are accurate, it should reduce the amount of highs and lows that your friend suffers.

Thanks, I'll definitely check that book out! Thank you everyone for all the words of encouragement and helpful tips, it really means a lot to me and makes me feel a lot better about everything.

 

[Vhm1]

Agreed. I'm currently adding (slowly) some carbs I'd nearly eliminated back into my routine. The drastic cuts didn't work for me, not least not for now.

Everyone is different and should try different avenues to find what works.

Hopefully having a pump should help. I'm in a JDRF local support group for adult T1s and their loved one. (The pumpers in the group all rave about having a pump and how it changed their lives for the better.) You may want to find a similar group in your area. Sometimes it's just nice to be in the same room with other people who understand, even if I sit quietly and listen. You could discuss issues with other T1's significant others, too.

Good luck.

 

[arenda]

I have been a T1 diabetic for 45 years and I have been following LC/HF diet now for 2 years. I can tell you that prior to LCHF, my sugar swings were not so perfect. Although I had decent control for a T1D, after finding this forum and learning how to eat, my swings are much less severe. I stay fairly consistently between 65-120 (usually I am under 100 but at times will go above that a bit). I know that is not perfect, but it is much better than it used to be. It is definitely the law of small numbers. If you are eating less carbs, you will make much smaller mistakes when figuring out your insulin doses. Please keep in mind, most Drs over dose patients with their basal insulin. So as she cuts her carbs, she will probably need less basal. The best book I have read is Dr Bernstein's Diabetes Solution. I highly recommend it. It will seem like a very strict plan to follow, but you do not need to follow it 100%. You will just learn invaluable lessons on how to manage blood sugars. For instance, he suggests no snacks whatsoever, I do not follow that all of the time. Sometimes I will grab a small snack of macadamia nuts or cheese, but I do take a small injection before I consume them. Sugar swings definitely contribute heavily towards mood swings. I wish you the best of luck.

Sent from Tony's iPhone

 

[Shalynne]

I'm Type 2, on insulin, and I eat low-carb, high-fat (LCHF). LCHF drastically reduces my risk of lows.

Largely, this is because LCHF reduces (and most often eliminates) my need to use bolus insulin. Why? This is because pumped or injected insulin cannot match the timing of a non-diabetic pancreas. Therefore, even the most accurate carb count will lead to the occasional "misfire."

A Type 1, of course will likely need to use some bolus insulin for every meal, but even this can be reduced considerably. Effects should be more predictable/reliable, as well.

Beyond the above ... LCHF allows me to keep my levels below 140, which is where organ/nerve damage begins. (I actually prefer below 115.)

 

[foxl]

I am LADA, slow and late- onset T1D and also eat very low carb. It works for ME! My weight is very stable, varies by 5 - 10 lb in a year, and I can take it off easily by fat fasting if it creeps up.

Do I miss some foods, heck yeah! But not enough to go back to that woeful way of eating!!! Not even for a second.

 

[Anthill]

There's a thing called natural regulation as T2's have although they may cannot get enough insulin to get the glucose down to an accepical level as T1's has lost this natural relationship.