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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I need advice on what I should do!!! My wife of 18 yrs. refuses to treat her Type 2 diabetes. She has had a total of 3 amputations & has lost vision in her right eye, due to gloucoma. She is also showing signs of kidney damage. She is in the hospital now, after her third amputation. I know her well enough that she will do the diabetic thing (resuming insulin) for 2-3 months, but will drift away & eventually quit taking it. We have 2 kids (15 &17) that are watching their mother kill herself. Each time I talk to her about taking care of herself, she becomed resentful & stays mad for days on end. We have learned to stay out of her way, when she gets like this!!!!

HELP!!!!
 

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Very glad you found us, Dennisgr8 ... but very sorry that you had to.

Your wife is extremely lucky to have you on her side!

As you know ... all too well ... it's impossible to make an adult manage their diabetes. That said, sometimes we can find an approach that makes life better.

Having a chronic condition with serious complications is emotionally depressing -- but -- depression and brain fog are also common physical complications of diabetes.

Counseling may be in order along with meds, diet and surgery. Unfortunately, depression will tend to demotivate a person and sap their energy. Meanwhile, brain fog will tend to keep her/him numb, distracted and unable to carry out a coherent plan.

Since your wife is in the hospital now (and getting treated), perhaps you could talk to her doctor about having a therapist and/or psychiatrist "drop by" her bed. If she is not on anti-depressants, or if they're not working, this would be the time to add or increase those meds.

Please stay with us, and share with us as much as you want. We care. Please keep us posted!

:grouphug:
 

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Hello Dennis . . . sorry for this situation.

Shalynne has spelled it out so well I won't repeat. I agree depression may be the uppermost issue and dealing with it while she's now hospitalized sounds like something that could work.

Good luck to you, and please keep us posted, and thank you for joining us.
 

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Welcome Dennis!

I agree with the advice you have been given.

And I am going a step further.

As you said, the frustration and fear and anger and terror of watching this happen is causing terrible stress and damage to your children ... and to you. I encourage you to look into school- or church-based groups dedicated to helping families in trouble. Or seek a therapist for your children and yourself.

Yes, my situation is different but I am speaking from experience.

I am sincerely sympathetic. Please take care of yourself.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
WOW!!!! I am TRULY SHOCKED at the response I have gotten from the "Community"!!!!!
We do belong to a VERY supportive chuch, where members have seen my wife's health decline over the years. I really believe that she needs professional help. She has had self esteem, as a kid, & that have carried over into her adult life.
I will talk to doctor tomorrow!!!!
 

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Oh Dennis, your family's nightmare strikes a very strong cord here.
 
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I'm fairly new here so I can't offer any advice other than to say I was humbled and shocked to hear your story. You are in good hands here though and members here are willing to help as much as they can for as long as you need.
 

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I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I agree that treatment for depression is a good start. Also, she should know that she absolutely can stop the progression and be healthier by cutting carbs and adding fat to her diet.

As a start, be sure to check out this site:

Blood Sugar 101

It contains a lot of great info about diabetes.

Many of us here follow a low carb, high fat diet. It keeps your BG low and is heart healthy! Yes, you have been deceived all these years. Check out this link for more info on that. The Big Lie » The Blog of Michael R. Eades, M.D.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I talked to the doctor today about seeking professional help for her depression. He said that was on the bucket list, but she has some hurdles to overcome yet. They are planning to have someone contact me before she is discharged to set everything up.

Thanx Everyone!!!
 

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Great news! Fingers crossed that he really does follow up.

Please keep us posted!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Update on "Untreated Wife". She has had some counseling & life is a little more in perspective for her. She is starting to understand that she has a lot of reasons to treat her disease (family, job, etc.). This has been interrupted, unfortunately, by eye issues (blood vessels in eye growing like weeds) & now her kidney function is at stage 5. We have been closely monitoring glucose levels & keeping them within reasonable ranges. The Dr. said that the problems that she has now, are the result of not taking care of this disease for such a long time. We are now talking about dialysis & kidney transplants. Dr. said that she will be VERY low on the transplant list, because she does not have a proven track record for taking care of this disease. She is trying to keep her head up, but the bad news just keeps coming.
 

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I'm so sorry about the new troubles!

If she is able to manage her glucose, she may still be able to stop additional complications and, perhaps, lessen the blows from existing complications.

Best Thoughts to you and your family! :grouphug:
 

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Please keep us posted!
 

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Dennis,

Since your wife has had a recent amputation, may I assume that she will not be going to the grocery store or cooking for herself for some time? Would it be possible for you to clean the house of high carb foods and make sure that you and the kids bring home and cook only low carb, high fat foods for her recovery? If she is not going to take her insulin, this might be the only way to save her. Get the kids involved in educating themselves on what she can eat and what she must avoid and the reasons for doing so.

I'm so sorry that you and the kids are going through this. I can't even imagine.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Thank you for the suggestion!!!

Since the amputation & eye issues, she had a "Come to Jesus" type moment & was checking blood sugar taking her insulin regularly, before being admitted to hospital.
At this moment (1-1/2 weeks now), she is still in hospital with kidney issues, so doc's are controlling here sugar levels.

I understand that the low carb, high fat diet is successfully used by many diabetics for control of the disease. I just don't know how well that will be received, once she gets back home. In the past, when we've told her that she couldn't have something, she would get REALLY upset & lose interest in treating herself. Like I said, she understands changes need to be made & the trick will be to keep her in positive attitude for treating diabetes in the future.
 

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I just don't know how well that will be received, once she gets back home. In the past, when we've told her that she couldn't have something, she would get REALLY upset & lose interest in treating herself. Like I said, she understands changes need to be made & the trick will be to keep her in positive attitude for treating diabetes in the future.
Instead of telling her "you can't have that," what you CAN do is present her with a version of the treat that is low-carb. That helps take the emotion out of the equation. And by giving her high-fat options, she will feel much more sated, and potentially less "crave-y" which will be much easier for you all to manage.
 
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