Wanna come visit?
Well, I find that hard to believe since I myself live so far out in the hinterlands that the UPS guy didn't even know where to find us to make a delivery. So far out that the ambulance couldn't find us a coupla years ago when we had an emergency. And still, we have decent internet access unless the power goes out. It may be only 1.5 megs, but it's DSL - not dialup. So how exactly, do you 'need' your internet? Since you have obviously disguised your location, I think you exaggerate, Mr foodahollic, and nobody can dispute your story.
Disguise my location, you must be checking IP addresses.
I do not spend money for internet. I use McDonalds or our library to get online. If I need a carb book, I am likely in my car going with someone to a restaurant, on the way to and from a doctors office. I can hardly ask them to find a free WiFi for stop to look at carbs, for as yet unknown restaurant. Mostly I use a carb book, like I use a glucose meter, to talk myself out of eating this that or the other.
My brother lives about three miles from here and can not call the police or county sheriff. IF he has trouble he is supposed to call the game warden, who might not be around, or far away.
Cell phone carriers AT&T, Sprint do not work well in this area, as a monopoly was given to a local company, and those aforementioned carriers do not want to build towers here. We do get that local carrier, the monopoly one, who charges a lot of money for data, and will not allow all smart phones on their network. And we get good coverage from Verizon, which charges a good bit of money. Also Wal Mart Straight Talk , if one chooses Verizon as ones Straight Talk carrier.
By the way, if you want to come for a visit, the GPS system does not work in our area. The GPS system is lost if one enters the address of the local hospital. The only useful map is created by a local real estate agency. The major maps are wrong, incomplete, which for some locals is humorous.
Our city police department is now, as of just about a year ago, under new management, as the previous one had an investigation about planting drugs on someone. They should have looked out for cell phone cameras recording them. The FBI could hardly be prodded enough to come out here and investigate. The local newspaper did report they were investigating. If you are interested, they like to do a lot of car searches of those whose plates are not from here, as the local city PD gets a lot of grant funding from the drug interdiction effort.
This is east Texas. You would be best advised to remove any Obama bumper stickers and use, "Who is John Galt."
Aren't mysterious people so annoying.