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seeking advice from men who suffer erectile dysfunction

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57K views 27 replies 17 participants last post by  MCS  
D
#1 ·
Hi, I am hoping some of the male diabetic sufferers will be able to help me with this issue. My husband has diabetes and for the past 2 years has had erectile dysfunction. We have not had intercourse in 18 months or so as he is unable, actually we've only had any intimate contact about 5 times in the last 18 months. I suspect he shies away from 'other' contact because this is embarassing him. He also doesn't like to talk about it with me, but I know he has mentioned it to his dr as I saw some of his medical records make mention of it. The Dr has not given him any treatments or anything though.

I was hoping to speak to other male sufferers of this condition so I can gain some insight into what it is really like for him. I have read that having ED does not mean he has no sexual interest, is this true for others?

We are a fairly young couple, with a couple of kids. We ideally wanted one more child but this does not seem to be a possibility now. I am starting to resent his condition because of this, and I know that is not good of me. How to move past this?

Lastly, on to the embarassing practical question. :eek: I have read about the use of rubber rings, also known as "cock rings" to help aide in erectile dysfunction. However being a female I lack knowledge of how these would actually work. Do any male ED sufferers here use these and find it helps?

Any replies would be most appreciated, either here or by PM. I apologise if I have been to 'out there' for my first post here but I honestly just need some advice and figured where else to turn but to others in the same situation.
 
#3 ·
Good day,

I have been a Type 1 Diabetic since April 1976 and suffered from EDS since late 1985. It happened to me almost overnight. Being a man this plays havoc with your psyche not being able to reach rigidity early on, my wife was convinced something else was going....I sought out answers and various treatments beginning in 1986. I wore penile rings to ensure I definitely had EDS, if the rings were broken in the morning I had an erection during the night. Nightly erections are quite common for all men. These tests were done to ensure my condition was not psychological. One Urologist had me trying injections into my Penis. This meant that when my wife and I wanted to be initimate, I had to inject this drug directly into the penile wall and wait. I waited a long time it did not work. He had me try other drugs, nothing worked.

Finally, in 1992 (7 years after first experiencing EDS)I went to a new Urologist who after studying my file and failed attempts. Suggested a penile implant. This may sound radical, but if you have not had intercourse in seven years this becomes the only option. I did it in April 1992, it was not comfortable or without pain and after the surgery I had an erection for 14 days! This was done to ensure no leaked and the pump was working as intended.

That original pump worked perfectly for 13 years, then leaked and I had a new one installed in 2005 no problems since. The second one was easier than the first. As my wife knows, I can rise anytime and for any length of time that is required. Without fail. I get aroused like any other man we all react the same to the excitement of impending sex with or without an implant.

Now I am not suggesting he go the implant route. But he has to seek out an Urologist and determine his exact problem. Right now his ego is in the way. Talk to him and tell him that both of you are going to see anUrologist. He feels less than whole but doing nothing about it makes it worse.

Regards
James
 
N
#4 ·
Hi, sorry to hear about your husband's misfortune. There is a variety of treatments available for erectile dysfunction. Some have bad side-effects while others are completely safe. For this reason I would suggest starting with the safe treatments first and then escalate to the more serious treatments only if absolutely necessary.

You asked about the cock ring. This is a ring he would put over the base of his penis. The cock ring works by blocking blood flow from the penis so that blood can only flow in and not out. Since erections are dependent on blood flow, the cock ring can help.

The cock ring is good, but for erectile dysfunction it doesn't always do the trick as some ED sufferers don't have any significant blood flow to the penis to begin with. The penis pump is a better solution since it acts just like a cock ring, but also forces blood into the penis via suction. These devices, along with cock rings, can be dangerous if worn for longer than 15 minutes.

From personal experience I can recommend 10 minutes with the penis pump daily (in the morning) and another 10 minutes as needed before intercourse. Not getting regular erections is part of the problem. It's a viscous cycle really. You can't get an erection because of insufficient blood flow, and you can't get good blood flow because of lack of erections.

I think this will help as your husbands problem sounds physical and not psychological. You should seek a Urologist to further discuss this issue before starting treatment.
 
A
#5 ·
My hubby the diabetic

I'm getting married in less than a month to a wonderful young man who is in all ways perfect for me--we are best friends, rarely disagree, enjoy doing things together and don't wig out if we do things apart--there is only one very small problem--ED. He's young, so it's not a HUGE problem yet--but it is something that's bothered him for years--he's had problems maintaining an erection (doesn't really have a problem GETTING one--not yet, he's 34 and was diagnosed Type I late @ 20 when it nearly killed him). I am a bookworm, and quite a bit of an autodidact. As soon as I fell for him, I researched Type 1 Diabetes thoroughly so I just...knew more about it. I know that having um...less "firm" erections can be part of diabetes...I don't really want to ask him to go get on erection pills. Some of it seems to be nerves, he really wants to make sure I'm "getting mine" and all--but I really would like him to relax a little bit, all the same, at times it's a struggle and I am going through the motions, not feeling a whole lot, when there WAS something going on AT FIRST! :(
Seeing the post above and all, and not knowing anything about them myself...what are the feelings on "penis rings" and could this be a way to sort of trap the blood there, would this be uncomfortable for him? I've sorta mentioned it before...he's not very comfortable with going the viagra-route, which I agree with. I'd rather try something a little more natural, less chemical. :target:

Anyway, any and all help/advice is mucho appreciated. I'm new to this--and of course he certainly is. He's worth it! I'll try anything, I just adore him to pieces.
 
#6 ·
Your hubby needs to have his Testosterone levels checked. Even though you stated that he is "young," he still might be deficient in Testosterone. This can be easily fixed by supplementation with Testosterone.
 
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M
#11 ·
Read a few studies about men and testosterone levels. High BG levels deplete Testosterone levels, prolonged BG's deplete Testosterone levels. It would be good to get tested and besure he tests for free testosterone. He may have plenty of total but it is the free that counts. I am currently taking injections every week, its quite the difference in my BG levels as well as other areas.

Some supplements to try and I take on a daily basis are Alpha Lipoic Acid, L-Arginine (10g a day). The L-Arginine dilates your peripheral blood vessels on your entire body. Works well for women too.
 
A
#12 ·
Thanks for the info, we tried some Gingko Biloba (low dose) he didn't like the way it messed with his stomach and he has some other issues like Mitral-Valve prolapse that is also messing with him right now. I welcome any and all suggestions...especially supplemental. His diet is...NOT anywhere near the best, and mine isn't much better, mostly because I have IBD/IBS issues and have problems with absorption, so I'm big on vitamins, if they can be (hopefully) proven beneficial.
 
#17 ·
AphoticAmy,

FWIW

Your husband needs to start seeing a Urologist who is well versed in ED treatments. They have many tools available to them to address the issue,and they will be able to answer the questions you have Vacuums,rings, pumps implants ..... You need to go with him.

They will check his "plumbing" for any physical problems, plus get a complete blood work up, to include T count. He will be poked, prodded and injected yes injected..

If anybody can help him its a Urologist Nothing is ever guaranteed but it doesn't hurt to seek it out.

You seem like a good wife :rockon:, your husband is a fortunate man.
Sexual performance is one of the top 5 list of MAN issues we hold sacred. So much so we can dwell on it to the point of psychosis
 
#18 ·
When my sugars are not under control, I would often have difficulties. When I am being good, sugars wise (and exercising, not drinking alcohol) I am back in action.

Just approach everything with patience and love, because performance fears won't help anything either!
 
I
#19 ·
Its all good till your wife says she wants to sleep alone, all because your itsy bitsy pecker won't work, or won't do what it's told to do. I did have a great sex life till ED took over, regular sex with wife and self pleasure outside of that as well.
ED has now reduced all that to a marriage separation, with 5 kids split in different homes(3 with me, 2 with an Aunty).
I have no support from her, and I wonder if I ever did. You really need a partner who will make sure you have your meds, and good food intake and one who understands your depression that comes along with this chronic condition.
 
#20 ·
iamstevo said:
You really need a partner who will make sure you have your meds, and good food intake
Click to expand...
I'm going to disagree with you here. I think our diabetes is ours, and we're the ones who have to be responsible for it, partnered or not. It's a bonus when our partner is engaged and supportive, but it's important I think to be able to manage our diabetes ourselves.

This forum is filled with people who do just that - and you can too!
 
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#22 ·
Steve, I'm glad you're seeing a therapist about these issues, as that is a better venue than this forum to resolve such personal matters.

What we do here is share information and support particular to diabetes, and I hope you will find some diabetes information here that will be helpful to you in managing your own.
 
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#24 ·
Hi Steve, I'm from the other side of Brisbane. :)

You've obviously proved yourself to the courts as a very good and caring parent to your children to be given custody, so congratulations!

Your GP should be able to help you get all your Diabetes requirements through either the NDSS or the public hospital system, although if you have several children in tow, the public hospital system and its sometimes long queues can be a bit of a drain on the physical and mental resources. :(

Obviously nobody here can help you with your financial woes, which must be a huge drain on your mental and emotional welfare. Have you contacted the community services in your area for assistance? There are quite a few of these in Logan and they have lots of skills and contacts that can help you deal with the enormous stress you are trying to deal with while supporting your children.

All the best with your challenges. You are doing it really hard.
 
J
#25 ·
i am on one of the pills i got from my Dr. when i talk to the Dr about the pill she said to me after all you are a man . when you take this pill when you need it it will be there . it helped me .
 
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#26 ·
For sure and for certain .

If you don't take control over your diabetes, your diabetes will take control over you..

Exercise, diet, rest, proper testing and medication. And love of life and love to those who look to you for support. Is your key to management and health.

There are plenty of resources available to you to help you achieve,but you have to be willing to search them out for yourself.

Peace
Tal~
 
M
#28 ·
Get him some GPLC, google it if you are unsure what it is, also Korean ginseng, L-Arginine. He will need to take these on a daily basis. Be sure his BG levels are in the normal range also. GPLC 1.4 grams a day, Arginine 10-20 grams a day after lunch, Korean genseng 3 times a day. He must also get some aerobic exercise.
 
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